Something may be wrong with me?!
Question: Something may be wrong with me?
Two guys were standing behind me and I got the impression that they were trying to mess with me.So when I felt someone tap my shoulder, I snapped and yelled at them in front of a LOT of people. I've been talking down to a lot of people lately, and I've been really rude when I talk. I snap at the slightest criticism and take jokes seriously.
A friend of mine told me that someone was raped by a guy at our school, and I smiled. I had to turn away and hide my face so he wouldn't see. I didn't feel any kind of emotion about it.
I've been having a pretty irregular sleep schedule. For a few weeks I could sleep just fine, then I would oversleep. The next week after that I would only get one to two or no hours of sleep. I repeat every month it seems. It started 2 years ago.
I fantasize about one day building a bomb that could kill the entire human race including myself because I seem to want everyone to die. I fantasize about killing my family and then myself so no one would miss me when I'm gone. I frequently have sort of suicidal thoughts and think about death a lot.
I pretty much hate myself. I find myself constantly wanting to be alone, distracting myself so I won't have to think bad thougths.
I don't allow myself to get close to people anymore because I fear they will hurt me. I fear they will not like me, or find me boring. I push people away before I get a chance to know them or the other way around. I have a little trust issues.
I cry frequently, many times a day. When I feel myself starting to cry I isolate myself or go somewhere solitary. This usually happens when I have too much time on my hands and start thinking negatively. It always turns out negative. I seem to dwell on bad things.
I know trying to run from my problems is not the answer, but I plan on doing it anyways. It seems like the only thing I can really do.
I get paranoid and anxious frequently. I start shaking as if I'm cold whenever I get around a lot of people, and you can hear it in my voice. It gets really hard for me to swallow so I start doing that a lot, and I don't like eye contact.
Could you tell me what you think of this?
Answers:
People below are saying you have schizophrenia. I don't think so. The only thing that could lead me to believe you have schizophrenia is the first paragraph about your paranoia.
You might have a major depressive disorder. You should really see a doctor for it. Don't be afraid. IT could help you. I used to have similar issues as you.
You seem like you might have extreme paranoia or schizophrenia or depression. Really talk to someone about these thoughts and get help from aprofessional. Good luck ;]
Seek psychiatric help immediately
bipolar disorder!
I think you may have schizophrenia. I think its best to see a therapist.
Go see a psychiatrist. You might have a mild schizophrenia.
Hope you get better!
Your profile pic has a silly smile...
You mean person D:
if you don't receive medical help you will hurt yourself or someone else eventually, maybe sooner rather than later. Ignoring your mental health issues won't make them disappear. It will only make them worse. Isolation is the worst thing you can do. It's your choice to seek help or not, but without help it won't get better.
Nurse
Make an appointment with your gp tell them its urgent be as honest as you can they will not be shocked it could be many things you shouldn't have to feel like this there is help out there for you.
ring 'mind' www.mind.org.uk ,ring them on 0845 766 0163 they may be able to explain what is best for you to do.