I am really very much tensed,i find my self unable to tackle this?!


Question: I am really very much tensed,i find my self unable to tackle this?
i am 29 year old,got married in 2004,i still do not understand what went wrong between us,i never loved him he was not enough educated i belong to wealthy back ground.2005 i was blessed with a son in this 1 year we lived together hardly for a month he belongs to a different state i am from bombay,even after my son's birth he did not showed any interest in getting out to earn for me an my family,let me tell you he is my first cousin.in 2007 my brothers lastly brought him here to join our family business that was the time he saw my son for first time(being father)2009 he went back home without informing any one not even me that time we had a fight over something,an he went,an just after 4'5 months he went on divorce,my brother an my sister in law blames me for this failed relation,i feel like she is playing with my mind my son is now 6 year,next month it will be 1 year,an in this year she haven't spoke to me,as if she dint wont to get over it an she doesn't even want me get over a broken relation,although all knows that person is not a good husband,a good father not even a good human,my sis-in-laws behaviour is killing me silently really upsets me sometimes i feel she always had grudges for me an now she has find right opportunity to act against me,as i am apple of my parents eye,i am youngest,my problem is how should i cut her behaviour,with reverse psychology she is realy now getting over my head for no good reason.she says i pushed him to run away i wanted a divorse an this is absolutely false i never intented this i wanted to keep that relation on,just for my son,though i knew he can never be a good father.still i tried tried friends please help me to get over this.......i am completly clueless i cant sleep..........

Answers:

You say you never loved him and he was not educated enough...and then you ask.."What went wrong between us?" I think you know what went wrong..it was a loveless marriage and you you think you are too good for him. That is what went wrong.

It is nobody's business why or how your marriage broke down. Your sister in law and brother in law have their own life and they should let you have yours. You are an adult. I suggest you put your child in childcare..the government can help you pay some of the fees and you can go and study or work. You dont need a man to keep you. I know you are Indian and your culture says men are suppossed to keep their wives at home having kids but we are in a new era . You will never be happy until you go out and stand on your own two feet and make your own way in your life. forget about men and get a job or study and give your child a happy life.



Hi, I really feel for you, this is an awful situation to be stuck in. I don't have children so am absolutely inexperienced in what's good for them but I would imagine that being is this negative situation and being in the tense / depressed state that you're in is not doing your son any good. If you have good support from your family who understand the situation then perhaps it's time to sit down with your sister-in-law and tell her that her behaviour is unacceptable and until she learns to treat you with the humanity and respect you deserve, you will not see her again. You need to distance yourself / get away from this poisonous relationship but only you have the strength to do that for yourself and for your son.
I'm slightly confused at the beginning where you say you don't know what went wrong but that you never loved him anyway. Why did you get married? You need to get over this broken relationship and look forward to a happier positive future either by yourself, until you know what you want and have truly gotten over this, or with someone who does love you and more importantly, that you love back. Don't think that bcs your son is only 6 he won't be affected by this, he will, the sooner you remove yourself and your son from this the better. Do you really want him to learn that it's OK to be disrespected, unloved and unwanted? No.




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