I think Im depressed but too scared to talk about it. Please help?!


Question: I think Im depressed but too scared to talk about it. Please help?
Ok this is a pretty messed up one, but I promise you this is not a joke. Basically, my dad is a schizophrenic drug addict who beat my Mum when I was little, and when I turned 11 my Mum, my two sisters and I ran away and we haven't spoken to him or his side of the family since (I am now 19). Since moving, my mum has found a new partner, Dave, and has had three children with him.
Last year I was told by my Granny that I had a pile full of letters from my Dad, and that they had been kept a secret from me (my auntie had took it upon herself to burn some of the letters herself when I was younger).
Most of the letters were birthday cards with some money and things. There was one letter addressed to my Mum which she read to me. It said how he was, and how he now has hepatitis B from using a dirty spoon to take crack from.
It really scares me to think of my dad, and his side of the family, dying before I ever get the chance to meet up with him again. He was in the local newspaper a few years ago because he got put into prison for throwing a pan of scalding hot water over his girlfriend, and scarring her for life (he was then put in prison). Since he has got out I think he is living on the streets.
I know he is dangerous, and could hurt my family if I get into contact with him and he somehow finds out where we live. But I also know that he is probably ill and could die before I have the chance to talk to him.
I'm too scared to speak to my Mum about it, because the last time I did she was distraught. And since she has got with her new partner, talking about my own dad has became a bit of a taboo.

Over the years I have blocked out memories (I cant remember much from my childhood) and have learnt to put bad feelings aside. But this has gradually turned into putting all my emotions over to one side, and has left me cold and unloving. Yet at the same time it has helped me to lead a more normal life.
Last night (Valentines day) my girlfriend of almost three years broke up with me because I have became an emotional wreck.
I never talk to my friends about it because they won't understand and are really pro-drugs and liberal and hide away their own problems from the world. I can't talk to my family for fear of it being too awkward and painful. And I can't talk to my girlfriend anymore now.

I feel physically sick and thinking of going to my GP to seek counselling. But please help me, I've never spoken about this to anybody.
James

Answers:

this is a very difficult situation but you always have to think safty first. the one thing i can say i would worry about is this man putting bad things in your head. your young and you dont need to see anymore than you already have. dont ever do drugs with him and please please please talk to someone who can help you make the right decision and also give you a peace of calm in your heart.



Therapy. Talk to a trained professional.



you should go to doctors immediately.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=30AZF8ZKhnY



counciling with the right person an excellent idea
as well as spirituaL Healing and reiki
regular massage can help


Spiritual healing ,Seichim and Reiki healing
This is the application of spiritual energies to the effect of helping people on all levels of their being .
That includes
Your mental well being
Your emotional well being
Your physical well being
Your spiritual well being .
There are millions of these therapists around the world and people travel from far and wide to them .Billions of people have been helped from these therapies .

And like all therapists there are good and not so good and some specialise in certain conditions like the physical and some do the mental etc .It is important to find the therapist which suits your complaint .
But you must bear this in mind all healing comes under what is known as spiritual law =you will be healed to the extent that you have earnt .ie your karma –the reaping and sowing of all deeds done 0ften from past lives .And what you are doing for the service of others in this life .
Thus you may easily two people with the same complaint go for healing and only one of them gets healed .which is why voluntary work is vital for your healing.

You must Find good therapists in your area /and a good spiritualist church who often give their services for free as an offering to the divine .

All you do is usually sit down in a comfortable chair and relax and think good loving thoughts –the healer may or may not place their hands upon you .That depends on how they are working .

You can even put your names healing books where believe it or not healing is sent to you by thought and that can be very powerful as well.


Spiritual healing -- study the healing of harry edwards google search

Harry Edwards recalled the case of a young man who, accompanied by a lady, was brought to me for healing. He was in great pain and eaten-up with arthritis. As the healing proceeded, so his pains left him, and his joints began to loosen and become free. When I had finished treating him, it was a real delight to see how wonderfully glad he was to be able to use his legs, feet, arms and hands again... and then he told me: "When I came here, I was convinced no one could help me, and I came only to please my Aunt, who brought me."

You worked a miracle with his father when he was very ill 1983-84 when I wrote to you, but you will be pleased to know he is now working for the Council and lives a fairly normal life.

I's report is complete - he is 100% fit and will have no trouble in resuming his sporting activities -considering the first reports, this is a miracle. I do not know how I would have managed without your wonderful help.

You and the late Harry Edwards helped me so often and indeed I am still pressing on 18 years after I was expected to die from my last bout of cancer.

I wrote to ask for healing for my sister who was to undergo an operation for aneurysm in the aorta. Her operation was very successful. After 1 day in intensive care and 2 days in progressive care she was back in her own room and has done extremely well. She was allowed home after 7 days when she had been told to expect to be in hospital for 10 to 15 days. Everyone was amazed at her recovery and the surgeon told her she had been a perfect patient. I feel sure the absent healing and our prayers were to a great extent responsible for this wonderful recovery and I thank you most sincerely for your help.

I thought perhaps you would like to have a record of the people you have helped during the time I have been sending reports. M.L. -angina, complete recovery. D. L. -duodenal ulcer, complete healing. B.L. - Angina, complete recovery. P.D. - Leukaemia - apparent full recovery.

On behalf of my mother, daughter and myself may I thank you for the lovely day at your Sanctuary last Tuesday. My mother is so much better it is truly amazing. She can stretch out her arms and even raise them to her head and her walking is much stronger. My daughter was very impressed, too. 1141/6
My condition improved in as much as I now have much more self-confidence and ability to deal with my everyday life. 1145/6
G.S. Good news. Up until recently he had to be helped to get into and out of his car. It is adapted to enable a disabled person to drive, The other day he got into his car entirely on his own and drove some 12 miles to a nearby town. Got out on his own and went into a shop to make a purchase. No wheelchair anymore! 1142/6

Get the spiritual healing /reiki in place asap

And remember this

Voluntary work for you is a very good idea especially when u consider this principle

,.all our healing and happiness - yours and mine is linked right alongside our efforts and contribution to others.in direct proportion to the help we give others

ie your healing comes with helping others =so if people are doing very little in helping others ---they suffer more and longer...and if they are doing a lot they get well faster...

.so now you know what to do ,,and like a lot of us are already doing being of service.

Do not even dream of healing to come to you if you are doing wrongful acts , wrongful words , wrongful thoughts. All you are doing is making more of a burden for yourself

1 hour a day will make a difference to you and to others



Go to a GP for counseling by all means. You definitely need some outside help. Do not try to contact your Father as that could be dangerous for others. You need help for your own mental health so that is where you need to start. Get good professional advice but also learn to value yourself more so that you can have a reserve to offer to those you love.



Whatever your parents have done, or not done, all that matters now is what you make of your life. Put all that you've said here behind you, set yourself some standards and some goals, and work for a better life for your own future family. There's everything still to play for.



He does sound dangerous. I would fear for you if you were to contact him. I suggest you DO NOT contact him. However, you can ask for prayer for him. Just put his first name only on the prayer request @


www.ourprayer.org



Join a gym and start exercising and get a good book to read(Techno thriller will be good). You have lost confidence in your life. You need to wake up and take charge of your life and get out from the dream state. Destiny is in your hand and no one else is going to do that for you. Join a hiking, trekking, bicycling, cooking, baking, dancing, story telling club, pottery making, drawing, sketching, making kites, martial art attend night classes and etc Anything that keeps you occupied.



My dad is a drug addict too and the thing is that I did get in contact with my dad and he knows my number never calls never texts and I got mad and told him I hated him over text and his girlfriend called me and left me a voice mail and you could tell she was drugged out of her mind and I'm pretty sure that's why my dad didn't call. The point is, there is a reason your mom doesn't want you to talk to him... and not to put ya down but he sounds like the kinda guy that would let you down. I honestly would take your life experiences and learn from them. Grow with them. Build a good strong relationship with this new guy Dave if he is a good enough guy. I Also would stay away from pro drug people unless you know you aren't going to follow in footsteps.. as for the girlfriend thing, that is extremely hard and I'm sure that has a lot to do with why you are writing this as well. you do need to take time to heal, do things for yourself. work on you. do things you enjoy. take a bath even. relax. clear your mind and decide what your next step in life is. I would be open with your mom if you still want to see your dad. but explain why you want to see him or what you would LIKE to say to him if you did get the chance. the thing is, is if he lives on the street how do you know where he is? how do you get a hold of him? if he just got out of prison its a clear indicator that he hasn't changed. But perhaps you could send him a letter and have the receiving address be the post office that way he doesn't find out where your family lives. But he would have to have an address to send it to. Even just writing the letter about how you feel might make you feel better? You can add me on Facebook if you need some one to talk to. Chelsey poulson. Good luck!



I was raised with no parents because of a very similar circumstance, drug wreck whole cultures never mind people o families. The guy/your father potentially destroyed his self as well as his family. Drugs have there place in history and are invloved in human development but have no place in modern society.
Out of curiosity you may want to meet him one day for of piece of mind which probably won't mean anything to you or even lead to anything.
Don't go through life thinking other people are normal and that your not because of your back ground, you will be surprised.
Some just get much better starts than others.


Hopefully what makes us human is mindful volition/free will, consciousness/our souls.
I am sure we have a lot more power for good than we know!

We can not dictate what we think we know best in order to change the world and how we are, we can only face and change our selves, and until we master our selves nature will always be our nemesis.
By doing so the effect we have on others initiates a concatenation of cultural perpetuations to the end of all time, hopefully for the greater good.

Generally as a result of environmental factors, and other than relevant moral or weak immoral cultural perpetuations of modus operandi, we are all human beings capable of tremendous acts of humanity and self realisation as long as we don't go through life justifying bad deeds to our selves,
We ride on the devils back providing he takes us where we want to go.
People do unfortunately go through life without looking or facing them selves, and think they can master the world building their ego's on that which is material and non-spiritual justifying absolutely anything to them selves.
But you know, as does everyone else that we can't justify absolutely anything to your own true spiritual conscience. Nobody cheats the big Mr “G”
We all have this although some wish to ignore or deny it..

Keep it real, never smoke, drink too much or take drugs, it only makes it worse!




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