Why does my mum never consider that I have aspergers syndrome as well?!
Question: Why does my mum never consider that I have aspergers syndrome as well?
Whenever my brother does something bad she lets him off, but whenever me and my brother have an argument or he is horrible to me, my mum says, "you don't understand hs problems" or something ridiculous like that.
Every time my mum says something like this it is just like one big slap round the face.
Yes I know our problems are different, but that does not mean my problems are any less serious than his.
What can I do, how can I get my mum understand?
Answers:
Best Answer - Chosen by Voters
Is your brother's Asperger's more severe than yours? Are his symptoms more severe, or more difficult to deal with than yours? If you function better than he does, or if your problems are less noticeable than his, then it's possible that she thinks he needs more understanding and support than you.
It could also be a gender thing. Sometimes parents unintentionally treat sons and daughters differently, having higher expectations of maturity and responsibility from their daughters while thinking "boys will be boys" about their sons.
Maybe your mother just needs to be reminded that you have problems too. It might help if you talk with her about this, sometime when both of you are calm and alone together. You could tell her that it hurts you when she says things like you not understanding your brother's problems and when she shows little understanding or consideration of your own problems.
Good luck!
I'm an adult with Asperger's syndrome.
Maybe she is still in denial that you both have Asperger's Syndrome, and therefore has not learned to cope appropriately. Are you older than your brother - if so, maybe you can try to have patience with your Mum, she obviously needs it.
keep reminding your mum that you have aspergers too
its usually inherited
you should go to doctors immediately.
Try getting your mum to talk when things are calm & your brother is not involved. practice a little before approaching her. let her know you need her. tell her you try to understand brother has problems but you are having some too. and honestly it may not be the aspergers causing all the friction. believe it or not there is a good side to having it too. it often makes you think about things inside your head more than other kids & you can try to use that to think of solutions and see how without it you might have other troubles by acting more quickly without thinking so much. when your brother is horrible to you try to picture a nice path leading away from him & walk away without a fight. its hard to live with but aspergers makes you pretty special too. you will see when you are a little older. i know its just hard to wait that long. peace
denial probably. she knows it, but she doesn't want to believe it and ignores it. next time your mom tells you something like "you don't understand his problems" etc. try to remind her in a calm voice that you to, are diagnosed with aspergers syndrome. yelling doesn't help and only makes it worse. if she tries to interrupt you while you talk, tell her "could you please not interrupt me and let me finish speaking". also try talking to her about it during dinner. "mom, can i ask you something. Why is it that everytime me and my brother have an argument you always say ......... even tough we have the same condition?" remember: In such discussions try to stay calm and logical (think before you speak!). yelling isnt going to resolve anything, infact it makes it worse because the other person will just ignore you. also, dont expect an instante change, it takes time to get over your old believes or to accept something.