What can I say to help a rape victim?!

Best Answer - Chosen by Voters

This is a great question and one that many friends find themselves asking unfortunately. I've worked with countless adolescent rape victims and it's always difficult for friends and family to know exactly how to support them because each case is so different. However, I do think that the MOST IMPORTANT piece of advice I can give you is to listen to her and BELIEVE her. One of the things I hear most from teen rape victims is that they are afraid to talk about the rape or tell others because they fear they will not be believed. This is especially true in date or acquaintance rape cases when both the victim and perpetrator know each other. Often the boy will brag about his conquest and others will think she is lying.

The second piece of advice is to see if she will agree to talk to a rape crisis counselor. The very thought of the word "therapy" is scary for most teens, but crisis counselors are usually free and you can call them anonymously to talk. There are national hotlines or you can Google your city for a local one. I personally think RAINN (Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network) is amazing and has lots of info online too that can help both rape survivors and friends & family.

I've enclosed some hotline info and articles to help. You really are a wonderful friend to care so much about her and together you can both get through this :-)

http://www.rainn.org/
http://rapecrisis.com/
http://parentingpink.com/2009/09/parent-…
http://parentingpink.com/2010/08/sexual-…

You don't have to have all the right answers. Maybe just listening will be a big help for her.

Dos and Don'ts:
http://www.healthyplace.com/Communities/…

-Her feelings are very real to her. Don't make any comments along the lines of "get over it."
-Be understanding.
-Let her talk, let her cry.
-Tell her it wasn't her fault. She didn't do anything wrong. The person who raped her is at fault, not her.
-Does she PTSD? http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/2402…

# Listen in a way that supports and validates the survivors’ feelings.
# Let them know that you believe what they are telling you.
# Make yourself available for the survivor.
# Encourage survivors to seek help.
# Let survivors disclose details of the abuse at their own pace.
# Ask survivors what they need from you to feel safe and supported.
# Take care of yourself and get help if needed.
# Educate yourself on recovery issues.
http://www.phac-aspc.gc.ca/ncfv-cnivf/fa…

"Women who have been raped, many times, face an enormous uphill emotional battle to regain self-respect, self-esteem, self-assurance, and self-control. It is a battle that can be won with the help of caring and supportive friends, family, counselors, and physicians." http://womenshealth.about.com/cs/azhealt…

stages of recovery:
http://www.phac-aspc.gc.ca/ncfv-cnivf/fa…

OMG, if you do all that, she'll think she's the biggest, hugest victim in the history of the world.
Tell her to take exactly ONE NIGHT to feel bad about it, and then BAM! Everything is back to normal. No crying, moping, begging for sympathy, etc. after that.

I've been involved in several rape cases