How do i know, and how to tell him he is depressed?!
Question: How do i know, and how to tell him he is depressed?
i have a 28-year old boyfriend who couldnt find a job after finishing his diploma home. We have been together for 2 years, and im the fist serious relationship after years of playboying. 6 months into the relationship, i moved for a phd, and we have been in a long distance relationship since then. He was unable to get a masters or a job here, and has been down for a year now, first a mutual friend noticed, and it seemed he was only normal when with me, but now i notice it too.
He now got a well paid job, and is still unable to feel happy about it. He gets upset when he looses a game of cards, or chess, he is down all the time and tells me he feels useless all the time as well. He no longer goes out with his friends, no longer enjoys it. He wakes up early in the morning, and cant fall back asleep. He lost some of his previously high sex drive, and stopped paying so much attention to his looks. He stops exercising, and does not want to start again (sports major). I think he may be depressed, and broached the subject today, but he does not want help. I think he is too proud and stubborn. Please, do you have a suggestion?
Thank you.
Answers:
Best Answer - Chosen by Voters
Hello ,
Well , maybe I am not a doctor but I've been dealing with depression and anxiety for almost thirteen years . The first eleven years I was in complete denial refusing any kind of help. This denial turned my life upside down , being mean and violent with my mother , husband and kids .
When I started hitting my kids and hurting myself , I decided to get help before I ruin my life and the lives of those around me.
The reason I'm telling you my story is to show you how your partner's life will be within few months .
Bottom line , he needs professional help as soon as possible , you should talk to him again and again to convince him . Ask for the help of any close friend or relative or any person who can help without judging him .
Just don't give up on him , ever.
Take care.
If yourself and others think that he may be depressed there is probably something to it. I wrestled with the idea of seeking help at first but eventually talked to my physician about it. All i can say is try to coax him into seeing a doctor. There is no shame in admitting to someone that you're depressed. Millions of people suffer from depression, and unfortunately some never seek help. About 7 years ago I had an instance where I was pretty depressed, I saw a doctor, he put me on some meds and I was back to normal in no time and a depressive state hadn't come around again until very recently. Unfortunately, I'm currently battling depression as we speak and his ailments (if you wanna call them that) sound very similar to how I've been feeling. The doc has put me back on some of the same meds I had used for a short period of time when I first went through this, and there is no doubt I'll get through it again. Trust me, he'd be better off seeking help for something that he has no control over, rather than to let it keep negatively effecting his life.