how to get in touch with my old personality (I want it back)?!


Question: How to get in touch with my old personality (I want it back)?
I used to be very extroverted and funny and happy about five years ago... but then something happened (which we wont discuss) and my personality did a 180 and made me withdraw from social interactions and socializing in general, i think sort of as a defense mechanism.

anyways, i would like to regain that old personality because i dont think this is the real me... i think it was just a reaction. and i also think that just having confidence and not caring about what other people think will eventually let me go back to this old personality... or real personality cause i dont think my personality changed really.... i think its just unexpressed now.

okay fine, i got betrayed by a group of friends, bullied if you could call it that, tied up and messed with one night and then i had no more friends for my entire highschool career and now at age twenty i have a social phobia, i think

Answers:

You won't believe me when I say the exact same thing happened to me about three years ago, im 19 now. Close group of friends betrayed me too. The person who I was is gone. I used to be happy all the time, not a damn care in the world, confident and never caring about what other people thought. I'm still coming to terms with it. When your that close to somebody you never exspect them to turn round and stab you in the back. I honestly havent been the same since. Now im self conscious, anxious the whole bloody heap. I feel different from everybody else now but isnt that a good thing? Sooner or later they will have to feel some sort of pain.

With that said my friend. It made me a better person. I don't really bother with that many people now. I wonder though, how I would have turned out if they had never betrayed me. I blamed myself for it, telling myself I should have done things differently. But it could never have been avoided. The decisions I made at the time felt right, and that was all I could exspect from myself. If I knew how I was going to turn out, of course I would have done things differently but i'm not physhic lol. Everything happens for a reason. When something like that happens to you, you're never going to be the same after it, no matter how much you want to get you old self back, your always going to feel that pain. I try to look at it in a positive way. Yes my defense will go up but it means im never going to get hurt again and its made me a better judge of character and much wiser. Its makes us a little more down to earth and grateful for the things we have. Everybody is going to get hurt at some point in their lifes (its part of life) but its all about how you cope with it afterwards. I think for both of us though, we were quite young at the time and didnt really know how to cope with our feelings. Dude I went through more **** than what some people would go through in a lifetime in the space of a year, believe me, of course its gonna **** you up lol. I have no regrets in my life. I learn from my mistakes and I deal with the pain. But ultimately I know its made me a better person.

Its nice to finally hear from somebody that went through what I did .. Thanks and good luck friend.



I got bullied badly in my final year of secondary school. It messed me up pretty bad, but I am better now that time has passed. I'm not perfect though. I take medication which helps. Are you taking anything? If not then you might want to think about seeing someone professional. The medication is not a solution, but it can help. I would say to take little steps each day into getting better. Take it a day at a time.



Well I was always super shy and "emoish". I got REALLY sick for about a year and didn't talk o anyone! Now I am super perky and just happy to be alive and with my friends and family. I guess it takes a change of view.



Why do you think that your old personality is not your current personality? Why do you think that these are two separate people?



The worst thing about this is that you are not giving the rest of us the opportunity to see the real you! I'm not going to pretend like I know exactly what you're going through, but I do know that getting your real self back is going isn't going to happen overnight. You have probably been this other person for so long that you have forgotten what it was like to be you before your friends did that to you, and you are going to spend a lot of time reminding yourself what that life was like.

But always remember that those people were, in reality, a small group of humans. They are just a small few of the billions of people on this planet. Not everyone is going to be like those people. Besides, is it really fair to the rest of the world to judge them by how a tiny group of high schoolers acted one day? Give yourself and everyone else another chance. You all deserve it.

People will see you however you see yourself. I, personally, see you as an intelligent woman with your entire life in front of you. Don't give other people the power to take that away from you!!

Good luck! Everyone on the internet is on your side!




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