Is this anxiety or depression?!
Question: Is this anxiety or depression?
These symptoms started maybe during the summer before last. I'm a 15 year old male, by the way. Usually, when I'm busy with school, I'm really tired at the end of the day and I just fall asleep without thinking about anything. But last summer, I would stay up for maybe 2 hours every night just thinking about these awful things and trying to get them out of my head. The thoughts always happen around the night time, never daytime. During the day, I am completely and totally normal, and never even think about any of this. Summertime worse than during the school year.
I also get in the thinking mood after seeing or reading about scary movies (even seeing the trailers). The Saw movie freaked me out, and I still think about it (like what if it happened to me). I know they're just movies, but still...
Also, after I watch news with murders and robberies and stuff I'm pretty scared. Just an hour ago, I was watching a report about how a news broadcaster might have suffered a stroke, and I was just thinking what if that happened to my mom or me if she or I were alone..
Anyway, its just terrible and its ruining my life :( I'm really afraid that it's going to get worse with time. I don't usually get nightmares, which I'm very glad for. I've gotten maybe 1 in the past year. I've never talked to anyone about this, but I have given little hints to my brother.
My family is very caring and loving, and I love all of them with all my heart (I might even love them more than myself--if something were to happen to any of us, I think I'd choose it to happen to me so they don't have to suffer). But I'm kind of uncomfortable about telling them anything. We don't really share deep feelings with each other. My friends and I have gotten kind of separated from each other also with high school, and I'm scared of telling any of them, too.
I don't know anything about mental illnesses or whatever, so is this anxiety? Depression? What can I do to help it? Thanks for reading all of this and please help! :(
Answers:
It sounds like anxiety to me. Anxiety is basically fear and worry. Everyone experiences SOME anxiety at some point, but it becomes a problem when it's excessive, and the level of anxiety is high. Experiencing some anxiety after watching a scary movie is normal, but you seem to be describing feeling this way even without watching or hearing about unpleasant things.
I think you should tell your family how you're feeling before it gets worse - it can get worse. You don't want it to get to a point where it effects your quality of life. Anxiety can, and often does, lead to depression (that's why they're often mentioned together).
Fear equals 'anxiety', which can fuel depression.
I think you are stressed out, and start thinking about awful things that 'could' happen--and this feeds your anxiety, which keeps snowballing and has you freaked out.
There are things you have no control over in this life and you have to just let them go.
Some people really are influenced by scary tv shows and movies--and i would stick with light-hearted tv/movies, such as sitcoms and comedies.