How is telling someone "dont worry about it" telling them what to do?!

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i think when u told her not to worry about it, she mighta thought that u weren't taking her seriously

She could have taken the comment to mean, "Go away and don't bother me."

Or she could have heard it as "F**k off!"

She may read very deeply into such comments, interpreting them to mean that you consider both her issue, hence her as a person to be insignificant - not worth your time or thoughtfulness.

Maybe she believed you thought of her as foolish for being concerned about the issue.

Her response may be based on having her feelings negated, possibly even forcefully shut down by someone in the past. I suspect, based on her response that she's either been around violence/abuse or personally abused... or maybe just brought up in a tough "hood."

If someone breaks a dish at your house, it's pretty safe to say "Don't worry about it." If the issue involves relationships or feelings, "Don't worry about it," is probably the wrong thing to say.

The world is in desperate need of good listeners. Too often, people say, "Don't worry about it," and leave it at that.

telling her 'don't worry' is telling her what to do!

She didn't ;like your answer, and is not threatening violence--good grief--
I wouldn't talk to her anymore.
You tried to console her by telling her to 'not worry', but she is angry and taking it out on you.

Not doing something about a problem is a choice, with its own consequences,
just like taking some action or other.
That said, you were 'advising', not 'telling' ... weren't you?