I feel soo alone please help?!
Question: I feel soo alone please help?
When I feel insecure and vulnerable I cannot speak to my husband as he becomes defensive. I feel another woman is making a play at him. I have no one to discuss this with. If I discuss it with him he becomes nasty towards me.
I feel very alone I feel fat, ugly old and sick. I get constant pains in my chest and always feel unwell. I am struggling to excercise as I have no time to do so. As I have 5 beautiful children to usher everywhere and look after. I also have a business to run which requires a lot of my time and energy which is expanding Guidelines for this business is also becoming more and more stringent. I must adhere or the business will close and we cannot afford for this to happen.
I feel trapped, sad, unhealthy, ugly, worried, cheated, and unloved. What should I do??
Answers:
Best Answer - Chosen by Voters
Seeing as you feel that you have no friends to confide in, and you can't talk to your husband, I would suggest speaking to a counselor or therapist. No one would need know you go to one and all information that you put through their doors is completely confidential. They will offer you a non-biased opinion and good listening ears. It can only be a positive experience!
It sounds like you don't have a lot of time for things like that but you need to realize that you are worth having about an hour or so for yourself! Good luck!
I am a Social Worker
You need to talk to a professional and get some resolve.
A psychiatrist is also a medical doctor and can prescribe medication, if needed.
A psychologist cannot prescribe medication.
You are under alot of stress and need an objective, supportive person to talk it out with.
24 yrs psych healthcare
Daisy
You are clearly enduring significant stress and heading toward a breakdown unless you do something to break the vicious cycle that you find yourself in.
It sounds like you are immersed and overwhelmed. It would be good to step back - at least mentally - for a moment and detach yourself from you dilemma so that you can view it objectively. It will help to separate the different issues (that you mention) and deal with each one on their own merit.
1. Your work load. You could do with a break before it breaks you. Has it meant that you and your husband have been denied quality time together? Are you bereft of quality time for yourself - to treat yourself and soothe yourself? Of course I realise that five children and a business is not something that you can walk away from! However it would be helpful to look for ways to make adjustments. Some relaxation, pampering and holiday if possible is indicated. It will boost your self-esteem and you may find some relief from the pains in your chest.
2. Your marriage. You feel insecure in your marriage and understandably so from what you have said. It is difficult to advise you from a distance but anything that will improve the communication and rebuild bridges will help.
3. Your feelings and symptoms of stress. Most important - you need someone to talk to. Is there anyone who you can turn to in confidence? If not, you must look to a professional. A must - make an appointment with your doctor for their opinion and advice!
Simon
Professional Experience
The constant pains are anxiety and stress-related.
Have you considered hiring someone to help you run the business? You already have so much to do already
I believe this is just a bad time for you. I am going through a horrible time, too.
We both need to get out there and join some groups (maybe volunteer, like at an animal shelter) so we can meet people who are outside our usual social circle
Also, I think it helps knowing we can get on the internet and confide in each other about our pain :) I know things will turn around
You have a lot on, maybe you should look at all you are achieving and working on. We can't have everything. So praise yourself for the good effort and stuff you do have.
You may need more me time, to relax and just be with a friend and have time to talk and treat yourself a little kinder. The biggest changes are the small ones that you could do everyday, they make a big difference.
All the striving is making your anxiety worse, take heed of what you do have. What you focus on grows-good or bad.
Maybe write down how you feel if you can't tell anyone it may provide answers and perspective. Sometimes with ourselves we can't see the wood for the trees.
Listen to good music and make time to reconnect to that happier place which you do have within.
Take care
You need to remember that you can only ever give people what you give yourself: make time to do things you enjoy, it sounds like you are very busy but perhaps you could just try and tell yourself at every available opportunity that you are loved and needed. What would your children do without you?! what would all your clients do without you?
Several people have already recommended and I second it that you should maybe start seeing a therapist or counsellor, make some time and space for you in this way :) also I think whoever said it (sorry I've forgotten the name) made a good suggestion - what about finding a partner to help you in the business??
I hope this helps and you feel better soon x