Help for my friend! Suffering depression I think! What to say to her?!

im suffering severe depr. right now, i am 15 and i could tell you all sorts of way to help... i wish my friends could hear this and help me but they wont... but i hope that i can help you help your friend, if i can help one person understand this then i'll feel better.

first, there are things you should NEVER say to your friend. never say:
- cheer up!
- i know how you feel (because you cetainly DONT)
^if you say these things (or things along these lines) then your friend will think that you are not taking her seriously.

the best thing a person lime this needs is someone to get them to SPEAK. it may seem so small and simple, but this helps a LOT. i attempted suicide a year ago, effing up my stomach. i was going to try again, but my bestfriend said these few words that kept me holding on for a week, and in that week i managed to fix myself up. ive gone back to my old ways now but i can SURELY tell you, SPEAK.
People who self harm have something on their mind. You can ask them SO MANY times, "how are you/whats up/do you wanna talk? and everytime, we will say: im fine/nothing/talk about what. THIS IS WHERE YOU STEP IN. deep inside, all a self harming person needs is someone to MAKE them talk. not exacly by force, but if you keep on asking, asking, asking, one day she will burst.
i eventually got to a point, where i was numb, but i would say to myself: "please, someone ask me whats wrong. because i'll tell you this time". but no one did. meaning that i began to self harm again. then a teacher asked me, and i told him everything. it made me better for a little while. to get it off my chest.

so i guess the main thing is to get her to TALK. even if she still refuses, you could say some kind words, say somehting from the bottom of your heart, something inspirational, or even say "im here for you". actually another good thing is to keep on saying that. Hug her everyday and on most days, say 'im here for you' or 'you can talk to me whenever'. once she talks to you once, she may do it again in the future.
so i guess i should tell you how to handle the conversation if she does talk to you....
if shes telling you things, dont talk. listen, listen, and just keep listening. just hug her, be close to her, and make SURE she knows your close to her, so dont just sit opposite her, sit next to her and hug her. when she's done talking:
- DONT: tell her things will get better
- DONT: tell her what to do, EVER.

when shes done talking, however, there isnt much you can say after that. you would have to say things like: I LOVE YOU, i would miss you so much if you were gone, etc... (it all depends on what she talks about).

ABOUT SELF HARM:
there are some things you shouldnt do with this either, my friends did it, major mistake.
DONT EVER: say: "promise me youll never do it again"!!! A person who is depressed can NOT make the same choices a normal person could. sometimes, you cant even control when you do it and once its done, its done. if you try and make them promise, most of the time a self harming person will say yes, but they CANT do this. by making them 'promise' you only add more stress to their lives (which can reslut TERRIBLY for a depr. person). and no, she does NOT want you to see her arms. the worst thing people did to me was say, DONT do that, thats bad, LET ME SEE. NEVER ask to see someone's self harm.

the best thing i ever did though, and im still doing, is SPEAKING to a counsellor. Not with my mum, by myself. I can open up and talk about stuff, helps a lot, like ive already said 100 times. i wouldnt recommend you sending her to the school counsellor yourself, maybe speak to the year teacher or something who will talk to her parents, who will then send her to someone who she likes. because for this you cant just go to any counsellor, you have to find one who SUITS YOU, who you can TRUST, and who you can feel free to talk to about ANYTHING.

As for her not doing anything (shops and her staying inside, etc)... you need to GET her out of the house. Depr. people lose their MOTIVATION. another bad thing my mum did was leave me in my room for weeks on end in the holidays... do whatever you gotta do, just try and get her outside and active. tell her that doing at least 30 mins od exercise can boost her mood for up to 12 hours!

but anyways, the main things you need to do:

- TRY GET HER TO SPEAK
- TRY AND GET HER MOTIVATED
- TRY AND GET HER A PROFESSIONAL
- TRY AND INSPIRE HER (kind words, love, hugs, helping her with schoolwork, etc)

i hope i have helped, this has been really hard for me to write about! but pleasepleaseplease help your friend out........ good luck!

just ask her if she's okay. tell her what you think she's going through. tell her that you'll always be there for her. if that is the case convince her to get help.

Well when people suffer with depression sometimes there is not much you can do. People often feel as though no one knows how it feels, even with good friends by their sides they often feel alone. First I would try talking to her about her problems and why she is so sad, have a deep personal conversation and try to relate. When you talk to her don't talk to her like your her doctor, talk to her like a friend. Also Also, I would recommend talking to her mom about her issues in private; talk about getting her on some anti-depressant pills and maybe even seeing a counselor. A group counseling session might be good so she can see that she is not alone, that others are going through the same thing she is. And get her mind off of it, make her laugh, go get your nails/hair done, etc. You could also try to help her meet a guy to get her mind off things. Hope this helped, wish you and your friend the best of luck.