Fetishes & Problems with Arousal During Intercourse?!


Question: Fetishes & Problems with Arousal During Intercourse?
Hi Everyone. This is quite a big step for me and represents my first attempt at "fixing" problems that I've allowed to grow inside my mind for almost 8 years.

My problem is that the only things that turn me on are all fetish and BDSM related (e.g. submitting to women, feet etc.) and over the past few years I've found it impossible to maintain (sometimes even achieve) an erection in order to have regular, "conventional" intercourse with women. This is a huge issue because deep down inside I just want to be normal and have a girlfriend, be able to take a girl home if I ever meet her at a bar, and not constantly think of being sexually humiliated by women. I know this is something I've neglected for many many years and it has even ruined relationships I've had with truly great girls. Does anyone know what kind of steps I would need to take in order to change the way I derive sexual pleasure? I honestly don't want to live like this anymore and I need to lead a normal life, get married one day and have kids.

The sad thing is that I'm a really charming guy and each time I meet a girl and we click, I need to make excuses so that we don't end up in bed, where I will 100% fail to stay hard for intercourse (because I've effectively trained my mind to get aroused by other not-so-conventional things).

I would love to hear from anyone with experience or knowledge in this area. Thank you so much.

Answers:

Best Answer - Chosen by Voters

Arousal patterns are very individual (as you know) but they are not static. If you want to change, it is possible to do so with the right help. There is a psychological process called orgasmic reconditioning that aims to 'rewire' your brain and strengthen more appropriate patterns of arousal.

If you do an internet search you will probably find it listed under treatments for sexual deviancy. That is, it is more often used by psychologists and sexologists when the sexual behaviour of a person is harmful to themselves or others. I don't think you are deviant in any way, in fact I think that what you have described is true of a lot of people.

The point is though, that YOU are not happy with things the way they are, and you want things to change. I would advise you to research sexologists and clinical sexual specialists in your area. There are people out there trained to help people with these types of issues. I wish you luck :)

Abnormal psychology: an integrative approach by Barlow and Durand
part Psychology degree




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