How can I get to the root of this problem my mom is having?!

Question: How can I get to the root of this problem my mom is having?

She got divorced from my dad when I was 11 (I'm 29 now) and from that point on, she has been drinking a lot, cursing my dad and us kids (adult kids now) for all her problems she's had since the divorce, always feeling sorry for herself and victimizing herself, has hypersensitive feelings to the point where if we're having a nice conversation over the phone, she will bring up something that hurt her feelings weeks ago that I didn't even know about, then she turns it into a huge argument that I cannot do anything about, then she will hang up on me and not talk to me for weeks and sometimes even months. She never forgives us for our shortcomings, but whenever I bring up one of her shortcomings to defend an argument that she's starting, she shuts down and says now is not the time to talk about this.

What on earth is going on with her? She thinks the world is ganging up on her (Her exact words.) and she just stays inside all day unemployed, moping around, and drinking. She even cuts off her friends when they try to take her out for coffee or lunch. She never calls us kids and when I try to call her, she never answers the phone. I feel like I don't have a mom and I've felt this way for years. How can we fix this?

Answers:

Your mother needs help. Start the conversation on her good characteristics, this maybe hard to do given the situation. Then tell her that she deserves help because you are very concerned about her. Give some names and places that could help her. If she refuses help there is nothing that you can do about it. When she complains about things make sure you state that you understand where she is coming from. She just wants to be heard so let her know this.

The fastest way to social isolation is unemployment. She needs to work

I'm no expert but if she has a drinking problem, you and your siblings need to get together and do an intervention.

My mum is the same since her partner dropped dead infront of her 5yrs ago. She's a heavy drinker but denies it and takes all her problems out on me and my brother (I'm 22 and my bro is 33). She says she drinks because she has problems but the best come back for that is no u have problems because u drink. I'm affraid I cnt suggest any help though they have to want to help themselves and if they don't....well all you can do is persist to be a good child and continue the fone calls and visits and jus basically take whateva ur mum throws at u because if u don't n u write her off u will only regret the time uve lost in the future.

Sorry I wasn't much help x

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How can I get to the root of this problem my mom is having?!

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