I'm in big trouble. Help?!

Ok I'm 19. I've come across a serious problem. Ok I've never had a girlfriend. I'm heterosexual, but I don't want to have sex with girls. Turns out, I'm more of a gentleman than a real man. Like I'm attracted to womens' personalities, but I don't think about having sex with women. Then people wonder where my sexual urges go. It turns out, the only thing that turns me on is death. Death, pain, & suffering. Not like women & children suffering, but mainly men getting hurt. I started lifting weights a year ago & doing boxing. I've been looking into MMA & Krav Maga fighting. I just want to hurt guys. I want to see them suffer. That's a turn-on for me. I don't know why. I have to get counseling or something. This is no joke. I'm turning into a monster. I'm going to college, but I don't talk to anyone unless they approach me first. Girls try to talk to me, but I always pretend like I'm busy. I could get a girlfriend. Sometimes I want one, but I hate sex. I hate romance. I hate being touched. I hate happiness. I hate being happy. I love being alone. So I have no friends as well. Noone knows this about me. What do I do?