iv'e tried suicide but it's getting worse?!

3 overdose's 2 months ago, and since then it's always been about getting help.. but i don't seem to want it? i quit art therapy and i want to try and sort out how i feel. i feel alone most of then time and people try and push in, but they only push me away. My best friend is starting to feel depression and now i'm begging her to get help, but she says you don't want it so i don't but i don't want her to feel like i do. if i could i'd take it all out and put it in me, im so Lovely never nasty! But, people try and push into me but they only push me away, i try and make sure people are happy. I hate to be made a fuss of and never say how i feel, since my brother was anorexic i always kept stuff too myself because i didn't ever want to be an in-patient, i have really bad anxiety attacks, i over sleep a lot. i haven't eaten in 4 day's and i'm 15 and 5'2ft and weigh 5 and a half stone. My mum push's me to eat because she don't wanna see me like my brother. i always kept my self to me, my best friend got asked for help, and she don't want it, she says to me you don't want your help so i wont, but i beg her!! to not feel like me i always try my very hardest to make people happy, and at the same time it doesn't make me feel any better.
I take a lot of what people say about me, i take everything to heart. My dad hates me after what iv'e done he said " we have a daughter who tried to kill her self obviously she didn't do a good enough job ".. i hate who i see in the mirror an fat idiot, i smashed all my mirror's and from my happy/sad moods all the time iv'e damaged friendship's and hurt my self over it.
Iv'e tried overdoes's and now, iv'e cut myself but i was ready to hang my self the other day but my mum was up stairs, i don't want to hurt her i love her so much, ( crying now ) and i don't want her to feel upset but, if she want's me happy why let me stay here and be horrible or be somwhere far from here? i love everybody so much! but, i feel i'm at at breaking point.
The hanging thing is 4th try at it, and i get paper and draw blood and write in that, i dont eat or sleep if i do its horrible. i have the same dream every night i feel trapped in my body i hate who i see :'( and i can't stop crying, im flooding tears out typing this :'(
why me ? why do i have mood swings?!? i course pain in people's life and i don't intend to :'(