If you hate how you look, is it best to pretend to be OK with it around other pe!


Question: If you hate how you look, is it best to pretend to be OK with it around other people?
All my life I've been told I should think for myself and not be influenced by the opinions of others, and I've tried to stick to that to some extent.

Well, I really don't like how I look. I hate being tall (6'3"), I hate having broad shoulders, I hate that I lost my hair at age 19...and yet everyone tells me that I shouldn't hate how I look because "some girls like big bald men" or "lots of guys would kill to be bigger, and bald is fashionable now for men." In other words, like what i look like because others say I should.

I don't know what to think. Sometimes I actually feel better disliking how I look than I do pretending I like it to please others. I don't want to date a girl who likes a big, bald guy and I don't want people to think that I actually like being big and bald.

Answers:

Sorry, but I agree with Possum, additionally, you're right. You shouldn't do something just because other people tell you to... but then why exactly are you on an answers board getting the opinion of others? Just some food for thought.

Maybe you should think more about the perception you have of "big bald strong" men. Is it that you want to be someone else? From my own experience, I don't like being tall either. I always wished that I could be a small girl who could be thrown around in dance and gymnastics... but it just isn't me and I can't change that I'm a girl giant. I found somethings that fit ME instead. (If I weren't pregnant I would still be my h*** on wheels roller derby chick persona and I've got some meaningful body art).

Anyway, I hope it quits eating at you. Maybe if you stop obsessing about it you won't have to hear other people's opinions (?)

EDIT: I think you may have misunderstood me... the things that fit me are not necessarily totally about my appearance. There are girls of all shapes and sizes in derby (even the kind I wished that I was), but it made me happy and made me focus less on what my body looked like and more on what it could do for me. Body art was my answer to putting a little more of my insides on my outside, so that was only partially about appearance. It sucks that the girls you've dated expect you to be something that you don't feel is you, but what I'm saying is fly your Coogin flag a little higher and how your looks are perceived won't matter as much. Really. I mean, what makes you a worthwhile person comes from the inside out... not the outside in. I sound like a GD afterschool special, thanx a lot, lol!!

BTW- bald is a relative term. my boyf's dad is BALD, he has some disease that made him lose literally all of his hair, eyelashes, brows, head, body (*shudder*) ok, that's enough. It sucks for him, but that crazy guy does motox at the age of 63 which earns him badass props. Relative.

girl giant ;)



well to be honest, I LOVE tall guys. 6' 3'' in my opinion would be the perfect ideal height for a man for me to date. and broad shoulders on men is always a desirable trait. and far as the balding, some women notice or pay a lot of attention to hair, but some women do not. i don't. usually if a guy is balding or receeding hairline, i won't even notice that/care about that. i really look to the height first. don't sweat it!



Since you can't change your height, and it's a pain to try to grow hair when you're bald, you should try to be OK with how you are. Why wouldn't you want to date a girl who is attracted to you?



Just deal with it.




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