Should I break up with my depressed boyfriend who is addicted to weed (mentally)!
Question: Should I break up with my depressed boyfriend who is addicted to weed (mentally)?
On the other hand, I do love him and I know he worships me, he said he wants to marry me and he hasn't had many gfs before me so I doubt that, with his depression, he would handle a breakup well. He treats me great and we have amazing sex and I like being with the REAL him but now his other side is just too prominent. I am currently trying to become healthier and happier on my own and am eating healthy, exercising, yoga. When he wants to smoke he will emotionally blackmail me to go with him and the munchies completely unravel all my hard work. I know it's selfish to want to focus on me but it's not fair to me to be a slave to his childishness and it's hard to have lots of things in common when all you do is talk about pot and NOTHING else. So, what I am asking is, should I try to give him a chance to decrease his pot use so he can lead a more productive life that I can be a part of? If I break up with him, how is the best way to do it to a depressed person? It will be a trainwreck because he thinks about me 24/7 and will devestate him. How can I be strong throughout breaking up with his anticipated emotional blackmail?
Answers:
Best Answer - Chosen by Voters
Dump him!
Do what you like
He is psychologically habituated to it, and self medicating to help with depression, but this won't work, long term (personal experience from decades of abuse of it).
"Long term use of marijuana changes the pleasure pathways of the brain, so that you can have difficulty experiencing pleasure from other, non drug sources, and this can take a considerable time to recover from, even partially, and it can permanently affect short term memory adversely, and shrink the emotional centres of the brain, affecting the ability to form lasting relationships. It may permanently destroy the ability to perform higher mental functions, such as theoretical physics, or mathematics. The new strains of super potent marijuana are bred to have high TetraHydro Cannabinol, but it is at the expense of the levels of the stabilising cannabidiol, which are reduced accordingly. After quitting, there will be a huge void left by the absence of drugs, and that void will need filling, so have a plan in place for when you get over the physical withdrawal symptoms.
Marijuana Anonymous 1-800-766-6779 View http://ezinearticles.com/?The-Secrets-of… It's a good idea to avoid your previous associates, and hangouts, at least for a fair while, so you are not unnecessarily exposing yourself to the temptation to backslide, but, if you do, don't just give up! Accept that you are only human, and therefore fallible, but use that failure to re-double your resolve that you won't allow it to happen again". - view http://your-mental-health.8m.com/blank_3… where the above came from, about addictions; print it, and pages 3, & B, about depression treatments. After weaning off medications, and adopting the recommended treatments for at least several weeks, he could then tackle the problem of habituation.
Use the effective natural core treatments for depression at * http://your-mental-health.8m.com/blank_2… and page B. If using a RECOMMENDED* brand of St. John's Wort, take with meals to avoid possible stomach upsets; check out the websites on St. John's Wort via page B, and if using UP TO 50mg of 5-htp daily in addition (or UP TO 200mg of 5-htp if NOT using the wort) take with a very low protein meal, to maximise the amount crossing the blood/brain barrier, with no, or extremely little protein 2 hrs before, to 2 hrs afterwards. Alternatively, take SAMe with the core treatments, but don't use anything else. View http://www.typeofdepression.org/Cause-Of… & http://curetogether.com/depression/ig/tr…
Read: Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You by Susan Forward, & Talking to Depression: Simple Ways To Connect When Someone In Your Life Is Depressed, by Claudia J. Strauss and Martha Manning, & "Help Me, I'm Depressed: How To Effectively Help Your Family Members, Friends, and Colleagues Dealing With Depression" by Jody Ehrhardt, & Depression Fallout: The Impact of Depression on Couples and What You Can Do to Preserve the Bond by Anne Sheffield, & Living with Depression: How to Cope When Your Partner is Depressed by Caroline Carr,
from your bookstore, or amazon.com
It never, ever works to substitute needed professional help with amateur help. At the end of the day, the person in need is still crippled and their loved one begins to feel worthless because of it. This relationship is going to be toxic as long as he's like this - he needs to talk to a professional and get himself together before he's ready to share himself with someone else. If you think he might kill himself, just call 911. It thwarts the chances of attempted blackmail AND any sincerity in his threats.
It sounds like he really needs your help right now, especially if he's depressed. Still, you're well-being is important too. Maybe you should try taking a break, and still being friends, and continue to help him through his hard time. It sounds like he really needs to slowly stop using pot, or at least cut down on it. He's becoming mentally dependent on it, and that's not going to help him in the long run.
Swap his gear for really **** weed or the legal alternative.
Hide all the good stuff and use it as treats.
Think of it as though you are training a small dog.
Men are all dogs and you should know that by now.
I know that because I'm a guy and just before I hit submit I am going to smoke a cone.
And its not my first and certainly not my last :)
As good ol' Snoop Dogg said...
Smoke weed everyday
Try talking to him. when hes not high, but not going through withdraws from the pot. Tell him how you feel. Tell him how much you love and want to help him. Then if he agrees to stop doing pot or at least slow down on it or overall be a better boyfriend. Help him. Help him through it the entire way. If he stops. Your on your way to a happy marriage. But if he doesnt. . .
If he doesnt and he continues to be the child he is being now. Give him a 'Dear John' letter. Its basically what you could call a break-up letter. Explain everything and why your breaking up with him. then give it to him a day when you wont be in the house, or when he will get a chance to read it and think about it before he talks to you.
I wish you both the best of luck!!! Hope this helps! :)