i need help with my depression.?!


Question: I need help with my depression.?
i've been really depressed for the past seven months or so. i'm the girl with a smile on her face at all times. no one knows how i really feel. i don't have any friends and i struggle when i have to talk to someone new. its the worst feeling in the world, not being able to have a simple conversation with someone new and it keeps me from having any sort of a social life throughout my entire life. i come home everyday and just sit in my room. my family says nothing to me about the scars i've carved into my wrists. i frequently consider just driving my car into a tunnel wall at high speed just to end it all. i've always been lonely but being at college only makes it worse. i need help but i don't know how. i'm too scared to tell my parents how i feel or go to a doctor, i just need to tell someone how i feel, i've kept everything bottled up for too long and i'm tired of being alone.

ps. my father killed himself when i was 1 year old, do you think my feelings could be hereditary.

Answers:

Although depression may seem like a shadow that will hang over your head forever, there are many ways to become happy again. First of all, you have to believe you can do it, and you have to genuinely want to change. Many times people get used to the "routine" (for lack of a better word) of being depressed, and their unwillingness to let go of this lifestyle hinders them from getting over their depression. Tell yourself that you are going to overcome this, and think about how proud you will be once you become truly happy again.

College is a great place to meet new people if you feel like you have no friends. There are so many activities and clubs to get involved in. Many people are afraid to make new friends in high school because they feel like they have to live up to their 10-year reputation of being the "shy kid". But the wonderful thing about college is that very few people there actually know you - so you have the opportunity to make new first impressions. Find comfort (not fear) in the idea of starting with a clean slate. It may seem intimidating, but if you put yourself out there and are willing to let go of the lack of a social life you have had in the past, you will find it much easier to make friends.

Also, try to spend more time away from your room. Sit outside to do your homework, or go for a walk or bike ride. Both sunlight and exercise have been proven to boost peoples' moods, which would obviously be really beneficial to you. Plus, a change of scenery is always good - isolating yourself will only make yourself feel worse. (Also - sitting outside or walking to Starbucks may give you an opportunity to say hi to someone you know from a class or an activity. Don't be shy when saying hello. Remember that you have every right to greet somebody you know, and it will probably brighten their day a little bit as well, leaving them with a positive memory of you.)

Your family - do you want to talk about this with them? Many people become embarrassed talking to their family members about their depression, but the amount of support they can give you far outweighs any awkwardness it will take to tell them. Don't just wait for them to bring it up - they probably lead busy lives and have so much on their minds that they may not notice the scars. Try talking first to one very trusted family member - maybe your mom, a sibling, or a close cousin. They will help you deal when it is time to tell the others about your depression.

As for wanting to drive your car into a tunnel wall, remember that this is just an impulse. That may not sound very comforting right now, but consider the fact that impulses are impulses for a reason. They usually have nothing to do with out real thoughts. For example, just because someone wants to jump off a cliff doesn't mean that it is a conscious decision of theirs. Impulses like this actually affect us less than we think, because they are usually short-lived and relatively non-severe. Every time this thought comes into your head, remind yourself that it's just an impulse on the surface - this isn't what you really want deep down. After all, that's what impulses are. If you honestly wanted to drive your car into a wall, you probably would have done it by now, since you've been thinking about it so much. Resist the impulse - it will get easier as time goes on.

If you ever experience strong suicidal thoughts that won't go away, call someone immediately. Check yourself in to a hospital, call 911 or a trusted family member, a teacher, a neighbor, etc. Also, remember that you can call 1-800-SUICIDE 24/7. The people on the other end of the phone are trained to talk people out of killing themselves.

Ad for the part about whether or not this is hereditary, nobody online can answer that question for you. Depression can be hereditary, but not all cases of depression/suicide stem from a genetic characteristic. You will have to look at family history on your father's side, and maybe consult your doctor or even his previous doctor to get the answer. Sorry I can't be of much help for this one.

One last bit of advice: put this quote somewhere where you will see it every day, multiple times a day: "Don't you give up now, the sun will soon be shining. You gotta face the clouds to find the silver lining." (it's from a song titled "That's What Faith Can Do" by Kutless, and I find it very inspirational when I'm feeling depressed.)

Remember, try to keep a positive attitude throughout this entire process!!! There is always a light at the end of the tunnel - think of how proud of yourself you will be when you finally overcome your depression! I've been there, and let me tell you, it's a fabulous feeling!

Hope this helps! Good luck! :)

personal experience



Jessica, I've had depression for most of my life. It's very hard to manage on your own. Alot of colleges have free counseling services. Please consider getting counseling help. It does work!

More importantly, maybe talking to your family would help....suffering in silence just makes things worse.

MOST importantly, when you have thought of suicide don't forget to call a suicide helpline, each and every time!!



It sounds like social anxiety and depression.

Your feelings could be very well given to you by your father's suicide.

Please, seek professional help. Someone can help and heal you. The professionals are there for your service, and there to help you, not judge you.

Sufferer of many Depression and Anxiety based disorders



Whatever happened in your past should be not on your mind, think about better future, a new you and how successful you want to be. Make a list of things that stop you from interacting? things you have passion for. Chase it, become a master at it and watch people follow you.



*hugs* Everythings going to be ok. There are people out there who really want to help you and care for you, youve just got to find them. c:

Telling someone is the best thing, and if you need someone to talk to, you can email me. (even though im just some random xD)

www.angel123dino@hotmail.com

<3 Dont give up!



Yes, they could very well be; my mother and her mother both have variations of depression, both of which I've inherited, and even developed anorexia from it. Depression is often a chemical imbalance, and that is why it can be hereditary. For the longest time, I also cut, and could not socialize with my once-close friends, let alone make new ones. This, among other things, is what lead me to the anorexia. Wanting to talk is a good thing though, and I think you should look into seeing if you could e-mail a counselor; not necessarily the school one unless you'd like to, but someone close by. If you can't find one or just don't want to, email the school one. They will either let you talk to them or they'll reference you to somebody close by. Please talk to someone though...depression leads to worse disorders, and I've been through and am still struggling with it. It's tough, I know all too well. A counselor will have the power and knowledge to give you the help and listening ears that you need. Good luck c:

personal experience




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