I dont know how to react to my dad..?!
Question: I dont know how to react to my dad..?
I just ignore him most of the time to avoid arguments but when i went down my mum was asking why there were used tea bags near the sink that had gone mouldy. I dont drink tea and hadn't noticed them (in all honesty!) so thats what i said. They had been left there before they went on holiday so i said im sick of being insulted for nothing. The thing is although im living in their house am i supposed to expect being spoken to like this? Because i ignore my dad he gets away with calling me all the time and the anger builds up but ive no way to release it. At the same time i dont want him to know that it bothers me.
Just wanted advice, or am i in the wrong expecting not to be called/sworn at like this because im living in their house?
Answers:
Best Answer - Chosen by Voters
Nope, nobody should be called names, or sworn at. No matter what the situation.
That's why the best thing would be, to have an open, honest conversation with him about it, explaining it's making you feel bad about yourself, don't get confrontational(because anger, triggers anger), but be factual, and honest about how it makes you feel, and tell him you want to have a more positive relationship with him, because it's ruining your family.(Sometime people then still try and get that confrontation in, by saying something like: "so it's my fault", but don't bite on that, just say, I want things to be better, the past doesn't matter).
I surmise that your dad is an angry man and that you have put up with his verbal abuse is your own mistake for now he feels empowered to take his low opinion of himself out on you. If he doesn't take it out on others who he knows would never tolerate it but does take it out on you...
Do not tolerate it and put it to him that you will not. Put him in his place. He is to be an example to you, not use you to vent his dissatisfaction with his own life.
Namaste'