How do you help someone who makes up stories for attention?!
Question: How do you help someone who makes up stories for attention?
I don't know why he needs approval so badly.
he workouts everyday, whitens his teeth, has a dermatologist, visits the saloon every 3 week, and always wears nice clothes.
but he makes up stories, when I first met him, I was so pulled toward him.
he was incredibly handsome and very charming. He was so impressive.
as I got to know him more, I noticed something was off about him.
he reacted very quickly to the smallest criticism.
also his stories are just too good to be true and sometimes he will stumble in his speech and say "him" or "them" when referring to himself.
its almost like he was telling me about movie rather than an event that he experience. it was weird.
I usually call him on it but he gets upsets.
other people have the same view of him and just thinks it funny
I feel bad for him, it like his problem is just entertainment for people are around him.
he has been like that for 14 years now, I want to help because as he gets older, he is more worried about his appearance, and his stories are even more "out-there"
Answers:
Best Answer - Chosen by Voters
I don't think it would help him by pointing out that other people notice. In fact, I would think that would make it worse because obviously his problem is that he feels that by making up those stories, he will get some sort of validation that he seems to be lacking. He is probably insecure. Because it's one thing to care about your appearance, and people should. But if he's obsessed with his appearance because of some delusional fear that that's the only thing he has going for him, then that is a sign of insecurity. People who are insecure often times want to project themself into a role that they perceive other people would like. I think that's what's going on here. Especially evidence by his fumbling of pronouns while telling these stories. The best way to help someone who is insecure is to help them with their self confidence. Remind them of the reasons they are a good person. Real reasons. Not superficial things like appearance, or non-personal things like because he has nice clothes or a nice car, money, etc. That only reinforces their perceived fear that people don't like him unless he has all these things. So compliment him when he does something that can only be attached to him as a person - like when he does something nice, maybe an idea he had, or something that he accomplished (a real accomplishment - not a fake one from a made up story). If he eventually builds a better self esteem in who he is, he will no longer need to make himself up to something he isn't because he can tell the truth and be proud of it.
I have met several people who do this. It seems to be a delicate situation because talking to the person about it can make them defensive and angry. However, if you really feel like you need to help him stop lying, the only thing to do is try to talk some sense into him.
Yeah I don't know, but this sounds like the time I cured 20 lepers merely by blessing them. Seriously though, if you're really close to him, the only way to get through to him is to have a "heart to heart" with him. Make sure you tell him all the good things about him first.
well, first u go up to them, tell them you hav to poop, run to the bathroom and pull your pants down and sit on the toilet and POOP!!!
poop