What is wrong with me? I am scared?!
Question: What is wrong with me? I am scared?
The next day my teacher who I hate anyways asked for my homework and I tried explaining that I didn't do the last page because I wasn't feeling well. He was like yaaa? Like he didn't believe me. I snapped at him. I started getting really mad saying you don't believe me? He didn't kick me out but after I was shaking. My friend noticed it. I went to the washroom and I was so scared. I went in the stall and started crying. I texted my friend who I was talking to on MSN that I was shaking and really scared. I washed my face and walked around for a little bit before I went back to class. This was also after I was in drama class where we were talking about emotions and while we were talking about that I was very agitated. I wanted to leave. Then after that I just pretended like everything was fine. On the bus home this girl told me I should ask her friend out. I felt better because I knew that meant that the girl probably likes me.
When I came home my parents where mad at me because I got into a fight with my Dad that morning. I have been very irritable these past couple days. I told him sorry and he said is there a problem and I just said its probably cause I didn't get enough sleep.
So today so far I have been better but I am scared that there is something seriously wrong with me. I don't really want to talk to my parents about this. I want to know whats wrong with me.
Answers:
I think you have anxiety and minor depression. That may have caused you to get overwhelmed by homework, and then frustrated at yourself for not being able to focus. Both anxiety and depression would explain your sudden sort of mood swings, but the shaking and feeling all tangled up and irritable sounds exactly like anxiety. They do have medication for this, but whether or not you decide to use it or not is a personal choice. Many people (myself included) decline medication because they can worsen depression, especially in teens.
If you need someone to talk to, or just need a cyber-hug, you can chat me (throughtheflame or throughtheflame@ymail.com) I'd love to talk to you...
Good luck :)
Experience
Isn't there an adult anywhere in your life whom you can trust and talk with? As I recall my 15th year, I would NEVER have told my parents about a problem like the one you describe. Guess I just didn't love them or trust them enough. So I can sympathize with your feelings on that. But yeah, I do recall episodes of terrible depression and being confused about life. In fact, you reminded me that I had feelings frequently that were almost exactly like the ones you describe. (Just hadn't thought of it for a while, until you mentioned it.) The more I read about modern teachers, the less respect I have for them. They always sound sarcastic and rude, and unable to forgive their students for simple transgressions. (Like not finishing a homework assignment, or that sort of thing.) If you were a church member, I'd tell you to consult a youth group leader...somebody who is male and about 25 years old. Why don't you find a church and start attending? If the pastor seems open-minded, ask who he would recommend for you to talk with about emotional problems. Sorry I can't do any better than this...but I don't really know you.