depression. HELP ME..........!!!?!

I hate the place that I live at now. It's in north carolina. I have a girlfriend that I love so much, though and I could never leave her. Well I was born in new york and i miss it DEARLY. MY WHOLE FAMILY LIVES THERE. I miss the past, when my brother was at home and not 600 miles away with no phone service or internet to communicate with him. We were like best friends and still are but I RARELY talk to him. I miss him so much. Not just him, my other family members like my aunt, uncle, grandma, and grandpa, and friends up there in new york. but it costs MONEY to go visit and we don't have money.
I'm going in JULY but thats a while from now. I hate to waste time living it and wishing time would go by faster. I love traveling only to new york because i can look forward to a nice, peaceful ride up there and eating out. I can look foward to seeing my brother. I can actually look forward to something in my life. everythings different up there. i ******* miss it so bad. im literally bout to burst into tears and go into the dark outside for a walk. it would help but i can't stand it....someone help me cope...im 14...