I keep having intense thoughts of overdosing and killing myself?!


Question: I keep having intense thoughts of overdosing and killing myself?
I am 24 years old and I am going through a difficult time right now..

Having problems with the law.. I've gone to court 5 times in the past year and my next court date is May 5th.. and we've gotten nowhere in a year.. It's discouraging. I've struggled with an addiction to prescription meds.. I had an appointment at an Addiction Center yesterday and I left there wanting to swallow hundreds of pills.. How ironic that I've been banned from my pharmacy since April 2010.. I have meds on me, over 200 of them, but it's not what I want.. I want specific meds, and I've overdosed so often, been in the Cardiology department, Intensive Care and in two coma's.. And eventually I'll just take the meds I have on me.

I'm tired, tired and tired. I work as a photographer and photography used to be my passion, but now it just frustrates me. I hate everything.

I want to die so badly. I do. I just need something to push me over the edge to take the meds.. I don't know anymore.. I'll take any of your advice

And even if I do go to the E.R...what do I say, and I don't want to wait 12 hours in the waiting room, and what if they don't even take me seriously

Answers:

I can empathise with how you are feeling. Ive been there...all of it. IM glad you reached out cuz that means y ou are looking for a reason to live. I attempted suicide 4 yrs ago and ended up baker acted. My parents rushed down from up north and my best friend quit school to come from Texas to spend time w me. I still have suicidal thoughts sometimes daily but I remember the look on the faces of the people who care...I could never put them through that again. You really need to give urself a chance...do whatever it takes to get off the pills. They alter your brain chemistry which leads to depression. I was able to put a few months together of sobriety and wow! Im a different person...happy...friendly...fun to b around! But as soon as I pick back up the depression comes back. You mentioned going to the ER. They will take you seriously and lead u to the help u are searching for. Here in Florida the baker act is for sucidal people...and mandatory 72 hour hold and during that time you will b evaluated and treated. Give urself a chance...its always darkest before the dawn. Good luck and big hugs to u!!

Life Expirence



I can see why you are hurting! Im sorry that you are going through this cycle of problems. I have had my own season of problems that I never thought I would make it out of. I would go on in detail about my life. But, there is probably not enough room for it on here :)

I want to let you know that life is really not worth anything without Jesus. He has healed me from so much physically, mentally, emotionally. His love for you is far beyond words as well, so I wont even try to explain it. You can see for yourself in the Bible. It is the "Living Word" for a reason. I will be praying for you tonight. Here is a prayer that you can pray if your heart is open and willing. Please email me if you want to talk further.


"Heavenly Father, have mercy on me, a sinner. I believe in you and that your word is true. I believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of the living God and that he died on the cross so that I may now have forgiveness for my sins and eternal life. I know that without you in my heart my life is meaningless.
I believe in my heart that you, Lord God, raised Him from the dead. Please Jesus forgive me, for every sin I have ever committed or done in my heart, please Lord Jesus forgive me and come into my heart as my personal Lord and Savior today. I need you to be my Father and my friend.

I give you my life and ask you to take full control from this moment on; I pray this in the name of Jesus Christ."

Amen.




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