Question:
Should I be worried about this...?
This may sound odd, but recently I've been desperate to get back to childhood. As a child, I was mostly very mature and private, and I never really had to do anything for myself, but as a sixteen year old, even though I don't have to do as much, I've struggled with my dysfunctional parents finally splitting, my nan dying, depression and struggling with higher education despite being generally intelligent and making it through the huge pressures of school and getting a good set of qualifications. As responsibilities begin to fall on me and I realise how the real world works, I find it incredibly depressing and scary, and I resent having to do anything remotely adult, especially as I won't last a second under pressure and I won't get anything done unless it really is the very last deadline. As a result, I'm left feeling panicked - almost hysterical - and wanting to deny everything and try to get the childish naivety, obliviousness and hope I rarely had even as a child. I feel guilty and strange doing anything remotely mature - even for having a boyfriend, and it's making me feel angry at myself and panicked at the loss of my innocence and freedom. I feel trapped and pessimistic, and I want more than anything to be a child again, because the thought of going into the real world of routine and work is genuinely depressing to me. I'm disenchanted with life, to put it that way.
Is this even the slightest bit normal? What should I do?
Answers:
you're probably grieving over your parents split, and feeling helpless. I felt the same way even a few years after my parents divorced and was terrified at any sort of change. Over time, I accepted that it was inevitable and not all bad. Now, I enjoy it and want to go out and face the world and see what it holds. It's not all bad, with more responsibility comes more freedom and as you grow, you'll discover yourself. But you need to put you first, and take it a step at a time. You're not going to be a child again, however, you can still have fun and live life, even with routine and work. If that doesn't get you through the day then what will!? Feeling lost is okay, and you have to get lost to find yourself. I would talk to someone you trust or even keep a journal to organize your thoughts. You're not losing your freedom, you're earning more and it's not too bad. I don't think this is abnormal unless you don't work through it.
sounds very normal. hell, im 34 and i still want to go back to my childhood. i had a similar teen age problem. i saw my school counsoler for help. it really helped