Boyfriend is bipolar refusing treatment...?!


Question: Boyfriend is bipolar refusing treatment...?
I am absolutely convinced my boyfriend, 30 years of age, is bipolar. He has at least seven symptoms, including suicidal tendencies. He is a raging alcoholic and I am the only thing to make him better. He doesn't drink when we are together (we are in a distance relationship half the week) and is normal.

Please don't give me relationship advice or that I should break up with him. If he has suicidal tendencies, I signed on to help a human being, which is what I want to do, whether we stay together or not. The problem is, he knows he might be bipolar (often afraid to admit it, but understands he might have it) but refuses to see a doctor or get help.

I need to be his guidance and help him. What do I do?

Answers:

I get it. I have bipolar disorder and did the alcohol thing when I was his age too. On one of his more receptive days take him to truehope.com There are thousands of people who treat bipolar on their own with natural products and I think that he might be a good candidate (bipolar not bad enough to have triggered an involuntary hospitalization, although even those with this history have reclaimed their lives).
One of the biggest fears that guys can have is that of losing control. Giving control to Dr's and the system is a big decision. There are advantages to never receiving a psychiatric diagnosis. These things follow you around like a bad stink and colour every future interaction with health care professionals. I know this from experience when I have had to convince a Dr of vague physical symptoms - hard to get them to see beyond the bipolar diagnosis.



why you don't consult to a psychiatrist? i understand that you are a good human but consult a doctor as soon as possible he will be alright



i think all you can do is try to talk him into getting help and calling 911 if you think he actually wants to comitt suicide



ur worth is not dependant on saving another, his predicament is between him and life. if he isnt seeking help then his motives are to control and manipulate u. wakey wakey.



The only way to be helpful is to attend Alanon.



You should be proud of yourself wanting to help out a human being, i wish there were more of us like you.



He's able to hold a job with or without you there, but doesn't drink and is normal when you are together? Then you have a bigger problem than you think. He is likely manipulating you by acting out when you're not there. This suggests there is more than bipolar disorder going on (look up borderline personailty disorder, for example). You may also be encouraging his behavior by trying to "fix: him, which makes me wonder if you have an unmet need to "save" people (you "signed up") which makes it easier for him to manipulate you. Such a relationship will wear you out, especially since you are obviously ill equiped to deal with the situation (your only source of help is yahoo answers?). Don't be surprised if he eventually wants your full time attention focuesed only on his "needs" or dumps you when he's found a new gal to play games with.



if he's bi-polar he shouldn't be drinking!!!
he needs to cut out all alcohol, caffeine, and unessential medication.

and if he's refusing treatment than he's a selfish fool determined to put a strain on ur relationship with his disease. get him to a doctor whether he likes it or not. but don't push him to the point where he thinks ur trying to control him. bi-polar people often suffer from delusional paranoia and he'll lash out at whatever "chains" he thinks ur trying to attach to him.

he needs consistnecy. absolute and unbreakable consistency in his life, which means whatever ur half a week long distance thing is, it needs to end if he's to get better. i'm talking from personal experience here, so please trust me on this.

but srsly, NO DRINKING! drinking is no-no number 1 for bi-polar people.

good luck :) god knows ull need it...



I don't mean to sound harsh but you can't diagnose him. Period. Alcoholism has many of the same symptoms of Bipolar. No doctor in his right mind would diagnose him until after he has quit drinking. Also they would not start treatment for Bipolar until AFTER he quits drinking because you can not drink with Bipolar meds. He needs to address his alcoholism before anything else and there is absolutely nothing you can do to make him if he doesn't want to. Period. It's the same with all drug addicts (yes an alcoholic is a drug addict). There is NOTHING you can do and as long as you baby him you are just enabling him.... by helping him keep a secret you are enabling him. And it would be all kinds of illegal to slip him a medication without his kniowledge and dangerous besides.. Bipolar medications have horrib;e side effects that would probably drive him to drink even more especially if he didn;t know what was causing it. HE has to want help... you can't force him.




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