am i out of my mind here?!
Question: Am i out of my mind here?
i also left because at night i cant sleep and its usually 3 or 4 am before i get to sleep and id never wake up in the morning.
i love to be alone too and all the crowds in my school made me claustrophobic and id get dizzy and hot and wouldnt be able to concentrate.
im also a huge nerd: i go to anime conventions, im a cosplayer, literally my life revolves around japanese culture. its not just anime and manga either, i just feel like i dont belong in america, i feel like i should move to japan. i am overly obsessed with japanese food, language, fashion, makeup, and just their flat out way of living. i cant even listen to american music anymore, all i listen to is jpop, jrock, and kpop. (thats japanese pop, rock, and korean pop) whenever i think about japan it makes me want to cry, i dont know why either!!! and this earthquake that just happened is tearing me into pieces. i swear i feel like im fading away. i could go on and on about asia...
im wayy to paranoid too i think theres always someone in my house watching me, under like one of those harry potter invisibility cloak things...
and now i dont even like my friends anymore, i always start fights with them over nothing, like i said if they dont do something the way i think it should be done and no im not a control freak. i literally have one friend that i actually like to talk to sometimes but even she gets on my nerves constantly.
i have ocd too so im crazy about little things. i cant stand normal people either, like ones that you know are interested in normal american teen things like for example justin bieber or jersey shore or you know hollister, aeropostale, abercrombie, etc.
i cant tell you how much these people annoy me. and i cant ever talk to people about stuff like lolitas and cosplay (lolita is a type of japanese fashion, and cosplay is dressing up as an anime character) so i cant vent to anyone and talk about my interests
i could keep listing things but i doubt anyone read this far anyway, and if my spelling and grammar isnt perfect, im frantically typing this because i need to get some of my problems out. dont get me wrong though, im an amazing speller and im really smart, but here... well yeah. so does anyone know whats wrong with me or have any suggestions?
also, im not you a crazy asia freak, dont get me wrong i love america too... although im kind of forced to be these days, but i still am either way... and im not a control freak. id like some answers without rude comments, please.
Answers:
You seem like a nice but unappreciated person.
It's good that you know what you like and can enjoy which can be a good outlet I think.
I too have felt the same way when I was living in Europe and everyone ignored me and I felt I was going insane.
I think maybe you need some time to discover yourself (as cheezy as that sounds xP)
I travel abroad by myself when I want to get away which then let's me appreciate things at home.
What about taking a trip somewhere to learn something new.
If going abroad is too expensive you could travel to a city you have never gone before.
You might want to meet new people and see that the place you know isn't everything.
Just a suggestion..
no I actually think we share a brain
I have some of the same problems....almost everybody pisses me off but i just learned to deal with it.I always get in fights over dum **** when im on xanax and drinking. i kicked these girls out my buddies house the other nite cuz they couldnt stay out past 11.....for some strange reason it just really pissed me the **** off! i have no idea why. I hate regular kids too....especially ones that think they are bad *** or the ones that get way more attention than they deserve. I can relate to your whole japan thing but with marines. every since i was like 8 i have been obsessed with the marine corps. I get an adrenaline rush when i watch what they call ''war porn'' which is illegal, very graphic real war footage. when i see marines killing ragheads in iraq i get so happy and feel euphoric. ive even cried of joy before. when i see that a soldier died on the news or something in iraq or afghanistan i freak out and my eyes turn red. ill end up calling my recruiter begging him to send me to iraq the day i get out of basic to help. then ill just think about ways to slaughter the person that killed one of our soldiers
its crazy i didnt think anyone else out there was like me....i thought i was just a ****** up kid
At least you are telling how you feel and not holding it all in.You sound like a very smart person.You know a lot people are kind of bumbed out this time of a year .But the spring is almost here look around see how pretty life count all your blessing .How greatful that we are not going through what all those people in Japan .so sad hope you get better soon .