Is there a way I can disappear without hurting my family?!


Question: Is there a way I can disappear without hurting my family?
I don't do anyone any good where I am now. I don't really have any redeeming qualities and all I do is hurt people. I don't want to make them put up with me any longer.

How can I get away from it all and start over, completely fresh? I have to wait for a little while to get enough money together, and my plan is to move to Germany, change my name and begin again. But I need some way for my family and people I know here to adjust in the least amount of time.

I just don't want to inflict myself on them anymore. At this stage in the game we're all stuck together, and I hate knowing that I'm a total f*ckup and dragging them down with me.

Answers:

I thought you said you were happy?
...and I'm happy as hell. ~That's your words.
Don't forget that you choose your path, and are responsible for everything that happens to you. Your parents don't expect it to be easy raising a teenager, and it isn't. All families go through the same thing. Choose to be happy.

It is a wonderful goal, to want to travel. If you do travel, it should be to find something, not to run away from something.

(Off the subject, I feel stupid, I totally didn't get your crossword clue!)



So your plan is to wait until your baby is born, then leave your husband with 2 young children, take his money, and disappear?

That sounds f*cking SELFISH to me.

You're a mother now, and will be a mother twice soon. That means that you don't get to think about yourself and what you want anymore. You only get to think about your children and what is best for them.

So shut up, put a smile on your face, and be a good mother to your child and unborn baby.



no your family cares about you and blah blah blah.
youve probably heard it all before and your probably hearing it from people on here too and unfortunately enough for you it's true.
there is no way you can disappear without hurting your family. instead find a job or go to school in Germany but stay in contact with your family. you can start over but still have them to support you if things go south there too. just dont be stupid and run away or anything.



I feel the same way, so i totally feel you. I am disabled. I have become bitter and mean and I notice this. I feel like the anchor that is holding everyone down. I feel guilty for holding down my family for not being able to work or be social. So i definetly know where you are coming from. Just know you are probably not as big a burden on your family as you may think you just arent seeing the upsides to what you have the potential for. Hope all is well.



You sound like a high schooler. Real plan for you. Study hard, it is your escape route. Study German or French, if you need to. Get into college, if you are lucky you can go to American University in Paris or something like that. Get in a study abroad program, and get "stuck" on the other side of the ocean with your new life

You get out of their lives and you do not hurt them in so doing.



This is kind of really serious...not the kind of thing you just casually post on Yahoo! Answers. Sorry, it's just strange.



Use that spell Hermione did in Harry Potter.



can understand you are trying to do everyone a favor by getting out of there lifes

but u are asking how do u leave with out hurting them, witch would mean they love u because if they didnt want u around u wouldnt need to worry about leaving. not trying to upset u im just trying to make u see that even tho somtimes u feel as bad and as guilty as u so and think youve destroyed all around u could just be you thinking this and not ppl close to u, many u get on there nevres maby u have really upset as few ppl but instead of living through this the next few month or more while u save to leave
1. u could write a letter explaining how u feel and u its afecting u
2. tell them u have plans to leave, u need to do this and dont want to leave without a goodbuy
3. tell them were u are going and keep in touch
4. if u really want new start new name ect at least try and explain this

also u should speak to a doctor, these feelings of guilt and lonlieness could be the signs of a mental illness affecting your behaviour and moods and could be helped, but if u leave and have a mental illness untreatd if u are out in germany alone it could get extreamly cout of control

whatever u do, good luck



Well first of all, think hard about this. Why do you want to choose Germany? If you find that your reasons are along the lines of "it seems like a cool place," that is not good enough. Do your research, find out about their laws, crime ratings, etc. Moving to a foreign country is a huge lifestyle change, and you wouldn't want to find yourself stuck in a foreign country with no money and no job and it turns out that you really hate it there.
Second, why do you want to change your name? If it is because you have a criminal record then that's understandable, but just because you want a new identity? Idk... You can be a whole new person in a new country without changing your name. Or is it because you don't want your family to contact you? But I thought you said you didn't want to hurt them..? You can move someplace new to be away from them so you aren't bringing them down anymore, but that doesn't mean you cant write them, email them or phone them sometimes! If you truly do not want to hurt them. How could you possibly think that just cutting them off completely wouldn't absolutely kill them?
You know, the more I think about it, the more I think you are some kid who is all depressed and convincing themselves they are no good for their family. You are fantasizing about a new life in some country you think is great with a brand new name and just starting a new life. Suck it up kid, I think everyone goes through that. I know I did.
But if if you actually are an adult, then just tell them you want to move to Germany. It is your life, they have to understand. Another thing you might want to consider is moving to Canada first ( or the US if you are already in Canada) because the 2 countries are very similar and it wouldn't be such a shock to you.
I hope you at least think about what I've said. GL to you and your family X




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