How can I hide my cuts from self-harm?!


Question: How can I hide my cuts from self-harm?
Please read the ENTIRE thing before judging me, please and thanks!! Okay so, I know that I JUST posted last week about this, but since my post, I've cut my arms again. I didn't think I would ever again, but I did. I'm not proud, but I'm not necessarily ashamed either. I'm a 14 year old girl, and in the past 9 months (since June) I have made 27 cuts on my arms, and 23 of them are from the past 2 weeks. I'm going through a tough time right now, for a lot of reasons. I'm still trying to cope with the death of one of my friends, two of my uncles, and my friend's older brother, who all died within less than 3 months of each other. It's been months since all of their deaths, but some nights I just have unexplainable episodes where I'll sit on my bed listening to a song, and I'll cry my eyes out for anywhere from 1-5 hours straight. I've also been getting bullied at school by people who don't accept me for me, and that's been going on my entire life. My parents also usually seem to favour my three younger siblings over me, like almost everyone else does, too. And my cutting has been getting a lot worse than it was in June, too.. I used to sit on my bed for an hour sometimes, just going over the same spot on my arm over and over again with something not that sharp like a safety pin until it started to bleed. Now I do it with a blade from a new sharpener.. they're not much deeper than the older ones, but they bled right away. I am in no ways attention seeking, if I was then why do I want to hide it so bad? I mean, I FINALLY told my boyfriend on Tuesday about my cutting, and we've been dating for 6 months, and know each other for like 7 years. A lot of my friends know, but even my one friend that knows winced at the sight of my 2 day old cuts. The only people I'm really hiding my cuts from are my teachers at school. And please, don't tell me that I wouldn't have this problem if I didn't cut, and I should stop.. Believe me, if you've ever cut you'd know it's easier said than done. I've told myself 4 times already that I need to stop.. And I AM getting help currently, but outside of school. So I AM trying to break this, it just isn't easy. Also, I have been wearing long sleeves, but it's starting to get warm out, and plus the sleeves usually ride up when I'm using my crutches. (I had surgery exactly a month ago, and I can't walk on it yet) And, I don't usually wear girly accessories because I'm more of the tomboy type, so it would be WAY too obvious! I also can't wear most makeup because it usually gives me a rash, and I can't use stuff for SCARS because these aren't scars yet. Thanks for all your answers, please, no negativity.. If anyone would like to find out more or discuss this with me privately, please e-mail me at shawna_carebear_1996@hotmail.com

Answers:

I don't judge you; I have the exact same problems as you. Trouble with friends, close people who have died, nights crying myself to sleep. And im a cutter, if you couldn't already tell, haha.
As far as covering up scars here's what I do;

For the ones that are lower on your arms, the best way to cover them up is with bracelets. I know you said you arn't girly, but there are tons of ones [ like the ones I wear] that arn't. I have a few rasta hemp bracelets, silly bandz, and message bracelets like the "I Love Boobies; Keep a Breast" and "To write love on her arms" ones. You can get them at Hot Topic or Spencers.

For the ones higher up, I recommend arm socks. [you can get them at Hot Topic too]

Another thing to do Is wait for your cuts to turn into scars, and go get scar removal medicine.

Hope things get better for you [:



Aw i feel so bad for you, dont worry u rnt alone i know what all that is like . I am a little younger then you but im here for ya. If you want to hide ur cuts just put a couple band aides on them and say a cat scratchd you up pretty bad ( thats what my friend did) I cry at night too i know it sucks but it will come to an end i promise you. You arent alone, and if you ever slip up, just brush it off and keep on trying dont EVER give up



Shawna, what is there to say? You need help and as quickly as possible. Remember that God loves you and doesn't want you to be suffering this way! If cutting has helped then what has changed since you have started? None of these actions has changed your life in any real way except to make you more insecure. None of the people that have died would want you to do this activity either. So the bottom line becomes that you do this because you are gaining something from it. What that is only you know. That is why you must start being honest with the person that is helping you and most importantly with yourself. That will sound strange but in fact being honest with yourself is brutally hard. People don't like to look at themselves but it is something that you are going to have to do. As you do this you are going to find the reason why you really cut. While you state it is not for attention then what reason? Surly the act of cutting doesn't reduce the amount of pain that you are feeling. Are you cutting to punish yourself for what you believe is your inability to cope or handle a situation? One of the greatest lessons that I have learned is that things are going to be what they are going to be in spite of what I want. Pretty humbling but true! I cannot control what is going on in anyone head. Outcomes in life belong to God not me. So while you are doing this behavior it is not having an outcome on anyone other than you. Be honest with your counselor and tell them about all of the recent cutting you have been doing. I also believe that your parents need to know what is going on. If they have no idea of any problem how are they supposed to change? People don't know what another is thinking so if you want to change a behavior that they are doing tell them what you are thinking. As for what is going on in school, you are going to have to speak up there. Again how are the officials at school supposed to know what is going on unless they are told. No one is a mind reader so you are going to have to open up your mouth and tell them.

life



you shouldnt be doing this. i know a lot about depression so i really hope you are getting some professional help. being 14 is not easy AT ALL.. i know that for sure. I'm 22 now. When i was 14 i was honestly just like you. Things will get better. i just hope you understand that there is good in this world. and things DO get better. dont ever give up. even when you think no one in the world understands what youre feeling or going through.. someone really does. and someone is always there to listen to you. you're not alone.




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