Question:
No where to turn. Help.?
Ok, this is a long rant, so I hope everyone has snacks and whatnot. I've suffered from depression since I was 10 years old. I am now 22. I have been seeing different psychiatrists since then and landed on a good one when I was 16. Been with her ever since. Only problem is, I only get to see her once a month because her office is over an hour away. I was a cutter in high school and I have awful anxiety and many nervous habits (hair twirling, lip biting, hang-nail picking, etc). I have almost no friends. All my friends from high school made something of themselves and are all getting ready to graduate college. I am constantly fatigued and can never muster up the energy to go for a walk. I eat anything that is put in front of me. I feel that food comforts me and that I have control of how much I eat. The problem with that is that I never stop. I have been told that if I don't drop some weight, I will be classified in the Type 2 Diabetes category. Just what I want to hear. And, I often think about horrible things happening to my loved ones. The images are grizzly and they don't leave my head. I have no idea where they come from, but I have to sleep with the tv on at night so that I don't think about things like that. I feel like I'm my own worst enemy. I have a boyfriend that I've been with for almost two years and I love him with all my heart, but he still has a lot of growing up to do. As soon as he gets home from work he turns on his X-Box and I don't see him the rest of the night. And when we DO hang out, he feels that it's okay to belittle me, whether in public or not. Not to mention, he constantly picks fights with me and takes his bad moods out on me (not physically, just lots of yelling). I know that made him sound like a douche bag, but he has good qualities, too. The annoying ones just seem to outweigh them. We live with my parents, who still treat me like I'm six. I have no job, because being bi-polar makes it very hard to keep a job, school, friends, etc. I'm currently in school, but I'm now questioning if this is really what I want to do. I have tried college four times before this and dropped out every time. I'm afraid it's happening again. I don't want to be dependent on others for the rest of my life. The only thing that can ever get me to smile is my beautiful 10 month old daughter. When I'm with her, nothing else matters. But even she can't make EVERYthing better. How am I going to take care of us? We can't live with my parents for the rest of our lives! And considering the type of person her father is, I don't think he'll be around forever. Not that it would be easy, I mean he's my first love and he happens to be the father of my baby. I want to just take her and get our own place so we can start fresh. But since that's not an option, I really need some advice. I bottle up every emotion I feel until I can see my psychiatrist again, but things have been so bad lately that I'm wondering what the point in trying is. I have reached the point where I feel that life isn't really all it's cracked up to be and I'm now reaching out to total strangers for advice. Please, help. I don't know who else to turn to.
Answers:
JESUS IS COMING BACK MAY 21, 2011 HE DOESNT PUT IT ON HOLD FOR ANYONES LIFE HONEY AND TMI..........
Just make a goal...something you really want to be in life. Then, go for it and put all of your bottled feelings into it. Yeah, I know it might seem pretty stupid but you might just change a bit. And be VERY open. :D Do something nice for someone out of the blue and it'll be easier to get to know them.
Mandy, my heart is open for your sympathy. I may be a stranger but from what you are telling me, there are some stuff to be done through Health / Spiritual / Physical and Mental.
About the food in the table, please dont just eat whateevr is given to you. Know it for yourself. If my mom will cook me food that am allergic or cant handle - like milk, I would not like it coz it will do more harm than good. So you have to choose but same time be nice to your parents so they can buy you those foods. :)
Exercise and sun is really crucial for you body. Trust me, as i am a guy, i take my shirt off in near mid-day to get some sun even just inside the house near the window, we need that nutrients our sun provides, it is so complex but same time good for you but not too much, jsut few mins a day is enough like 5-15 mins.. And stretching can give you an uplift energy, but i gues you wont need much coz you have your daughter and you can play with her.
If you are always stressing and getting that anxiety up in high level, there are some things that helped me. This is my own testimony and times of experimenting with what helps me alot. I found out, taking fish oils help me cope at this, plus greater flexibility in mind and also vib. B - my doc provide me with this to cope from stress. Plus make sure you hav any time for yourself where are you comfortable. Plan it even the day before, arent you excited? Get a good sleep, thinking you have to battling this anxiety when you get out tomorrow but atleast you got some destination(?) in your mind that is your goal to reach and where you like life to enjoy.
Another thing is, please dont put your self to scale with other people. That will never be balance not until you can find a type of person that you can hang around with and have same fun hobbies.
Take care for now Mandy, congratz in your daughter. 10 months old sounds cute. :)