Could I Be Schizophrenic? (This is Long)?!

Question: Could I Be Schizophrenic? (This is Long)?
I have a slightly off mental history, it started probably when I was about 12, and I am now 18. I started to feel sad a lot of the time at around 12 but I functioned normally, and didn't think much of it until I was 14 when I felt depressed majority of the time. When I was 13, I contemplated killing myself by throwing myself down a cement staircase so I'd hit my head and die, but ended up not doing it. Things got worse as I got older, around 14 I tried to "fall" off logs that were very high up so I could fall and in my head in the creek below and drown to death. From 14-16 I tried drowning myself, suffocating myself, and running infront of a car. None of those experiences led me into a hospital though. When I was 15 I started cutting myself (I haven't cut in over a year though) and I had to see a therapist when my parents found out. My therapist didn't know I was cutting myself a majority of the time I saw her which started in October 2008, and I stopped cutting on a normal basis in Feb 2009 because of my boyfriend, but then continued to again in August 2009. I was high stressed the beggining of the school year and overdosed on baby aspirin and tylenol, but I ended up living and feeling incredibly drowsy and high the next day. A week after that I overdosed on nyquil and dayquil and ended up being taken to the emergency room and then went to a short term mental facility for a week. A month later I was readmitted for cutting myself and stayed for two months. I was put on five different medications as mood stablizers and for anxiety all of which did not work out since I have a heart problem and I am very sensitive to medications. I did not cut myself, or attempt suicide from Nov 2009-Jun 2010 and I felt stressed but was coping well since I started college early and was glad to be out of high school. However, in June 2010, I attempted suicide, and can not recollect the events. I overdosed on medicines such as zoloft, abilify, geodon, and some others and somehow lived. I had an amnesic period, before attempting suicide that time I do not remember anything although the medicine never affected my memory. The doctors say I should be able to recollect why I tried to kill myself but I don't remember, but I do know my boyfriend and I got into a fight that day and then I went to a creek and overdosed and somehow managed to pull myself out of a fast current creek being completly out my mind. These "amnesic" episodes have happened before, in April 2009 (a year prior) I had three amnesic episodes in which I have no recollection of buy according to family and friends I said I was someone else, and could not remember my name, who I was or anything. Sometimes I would make up a new identity, other times I would stare blankly and started screaming hysterically if people approached me. This has happened a few times. There have also been times where I go through periods of dellusion. I convinced myself I was raped 5 times as a child for months (although I was NEVER raped) and told many friends and my therapist. Another time Iaccording to friends and I convinced myself I was pregnant. I have little recollection of these events, but my memory is fine other than that. Other times I have said things to people in deep intimate conversations that were manipulative, viel and evil that I would NEVER say, but they said I did and I have no reason to call them a liar. I also hear a voice in my head, and hear voices externally like thuds, and occasionally voices talking around me. It seems to have gotten worse when I turned 18 but I had heard voices in my head in the past. For the past two months I have also been seeing things such as a cat passing by, or someone in a car even though no one is there. I think why I don't remember those "amnesic" episodes is because they are too hard to since it's so embarssing to think I told people I was pregnant or I was raped, etc. I've been misdiagnosed as having PMDD, a mood disorder, atypical depression, and anxiety, none of which I have now. Any advice would be great. I am seeing my third psychiatrist soon but I haven;t seen a good psychiatrist that has helped me, and things only seem to get worse, although I am no longer depressed or suicidal, I'm always afraid what happened last summer could occur again (the attempting suicide with no recollection.) Please don't just call me insane :\ Thanks


You're not insane, but you have very complicated issues and we could not possibly give you any accurate assessment of a possible diagnosis.
Wait until you speak to your new psychiatrist. It will definitely take a few visits, but you will find out eventually.
I can relate to some of these issues, and am diagnosed with schizophrenia.
For females, onset in the mid-teens is rare, but possible.
I feel for you and if you have any questions about schizophrenia treatment, etc, email me through my profile.
Good luck.

I read all of this.

You need to seek professional help as this does seem like some schizo-spectrum disorder.


I am being honest here. I came on this site to pretend to be a sociopath. I really don't care about this question or you, but I feel awful typing this because of my conscience.


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