How can I find happiness?!


Question: How can I find happiness?
Hello.

I'm an eighteen year old female and I have recently been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and dysthemic depression disorder. I know I spelt that last one wrong, sorry!

Anyways, I've been feeling really down lately. I hate feeling different than everyone else, I hate having to struggle to just get through a single day. I hate feeling like I want to kill myself because I am so afraid of actually doing it. I don't want to die, I just want to end the suffering.

With my anxiety disorder, I constantly worry about absolutely everything. Even the most likely of things. I'm always worrying that I am dying of something or another, or I worry that I am going mentally insane. It's on my mind twenty four seven, a million worries a day. Such a life gets so tiresome and scary. I don't want to be this way for the rest of my life, but I know that I will likely have these disorders for the remainder of my life. I just want it to end.

With my depression, I find that I am no where near motivated as I use to be. I get so down about numerous things, I'm afraid of going to University next year. I'm a very good student, but I just don't feel motivated. I'm a perfectionist; I push myself way too hard. Yet, this is my reality. I am negative about absolutely everything, and I am never certain of my feelings. I'm always questioning my love for my boyfriend, my love for everyone else. And I always am putting myself down and nit picking my flaws.

I want relief. That's all. I want to know that it WILL get better but people have been telling me that for years, and it has yet to "get better". Medication doesn't seem to work on me. I wish it did, I'm ready to try anything to help make me feel better. I know I need to start helping myself...but I just don't know how. I don't know how to do anything but thinking about committing suicide.

I AM seeing a psychiatrist, so please don't tell me to see a doctor. And I KNOW that I have to help myself and I WANT to, I just don't know how. ): I'm so lost.

If anyone here suffers from anxiety disorders and/or depressive disorders, please post your experience? Tell me how it got better for you - tell me what medication you take? How can I help myself? I'm willing to do anything. Please. Any advice is welcomed. I want to feel like I'm not alone.

PLEASE, NO NEGATIVE RESPONSES LIKE "It never gets better," Honestly.

Answers:

I feel for you...I too have been fighting this mental illness for many years...now I am on the road to recovery. I started by talking to my doctor and then getting therapy from a psychologist . It helped to talk to someone about how bad I felt and how hard my life was. Now the real recovery started when I decided that I would take baby steps each day to get better. When I decided that it was ok to be diferent to other ppl. I'm diferent because i see that others that don't have anxiety and depression find it easy to cope with normal day to day activities..I don't cope so well. I have learned to live my life at my own pace. Anxiety is now my ticket to live life away from the rat race and to treat myself kindly and to set my own pace when doing things.

We are super sensitive to our environment and to our body's and to ppl around us. We are pretty much super charged and hypersensitive 24/7 ... What we need to do is look at this as a blessing and to work with it..not let it terrify us.As much as we get anxious and panic and it feels awefull, we also feel love deeply and we can have moments of sheer bliss..some ppl never feel such strong feelings. Some ppl live life numb. We are also more aware of our surroundings and we pick up on things easier than most because we are so switched on.

The way anxiety works is it builds and builds and builds(when we find ourselves in stressfull situations) then we need release. Release could be going to a doctor and getting told we are o.k..we are healthy. This gives us heaps of confidence for a while and then the cycle starts all over again. The thing to learn is to find ways to decrease our stress and manage it day to day.Exercise, meditation, sitting in a quiet room with nice cadles on just relaxing...nice hot bath..a walk in the park etc..When you feel stressed switch off and relax..stop the anxiety from building up.

I also learned that I cannot control everyone and everything. I too have the perfectionist syndrome. That comes from being insecure. We cannot be perfect...we cannot control the universe and that is o.k. It is ok to do well....we dont have to kill ourselves trying to be the best at everything.

Nature has been my healing grace...sitting in the sun watching ants in the garden , listening to the birds..heals my spirit and mind and it's like meditation for me...it relaxes me.

Eat healthy and get plenty of sleep(sleep is vital to us) also make sure you are getting enough iron. Do not drink caffeinated drinks of any kind or sugary drinks and foods. That stuff all hypes us up too much. We dont need it. I stick to water, juice and herbal teas or decaf tea.

I dont take medication as it doesn't agree with me..and yes I did try many. I make sure I do something positive each day . The real trick is to learn to manage your stress and then that will give you heaps of confidence to face each day.

17 years of panic attacks/anxiety/agoraphobia and depression.



Every time you see something and start to get anxious about something, like am I going to die from random circumstance x or whatever, remember that you want to kill yourself anyway, so why should you care? Make sure you only do this for IRRATIONAL fears though-don't play in traffic.



The short answer is, you need to learn how to change how you think about things. Changing how you think changes how you feel.

If you're a reader, thats easier. Wayne Dyer writes good books on that topic.



I think people of today think too much and make your probe\lems worse...be happy, smile dont take anything seriously and you'll see.



I know from experience that this will help, in fact this is the only way you will ever control your mind, otherwise your mind will most certainly control you, it's also called Wisdom. I hope very much that you will do this, it is very important to your evolution, there is a way out of human suffering, and there is only one way out, it is called Enlightenment. The sages asked the Buddha what is Enlightenment, all he could answer is this " the end of suffering ".
Please, go and buy the book "A New Earth" by Ecart Tolle. It will change your life forever.
It really is that important.



I take a combination of meds, always have. I was first diagnosed with Major depressive disorder and now with Bipolar disorder. I would take an Anti-depressant with an anti-psychotic. Now I take both of those, with an added mood stabilizer totalling 3 medications. I am on Prestiq, Invega, and Trileptal and it is doing pretty good so far. Stick to medication and get to therapy. You need a doctor but you also need a therapist or counselor to figure out how to best cope with your anxiety and depressive issues. Good luck and I'm here if you need me.

Best meds I've taken - Cymbalta and Pristiq



Sounds like you should find something you can spend your time doing and then you will have less time to feel that way. They have a tape you can send for that would help you other people swear by it they advertise it on TV. There is a link below about Cd's that can help if it does not work get your money back.

http://anxietynetwork.com/audio1.html



I am currently undergoing treatment for a back injury and see a psychologist two times a month.

For your anxiety, you just have to think: What's the possibility of this happening? I recently took a trip and had to go on an airplane. Airplanes freak me out because I'm scared of something going wrong and crashing. But how often do we see airplane crashes on the news? Almost never. They are on the news because it's rare. You just have think along the lines of that.

Depression is more complicated. But why do you feel the need to kill yourself? There are people around the world who have been diagnosed with terminal illnesses. They would do anything to live, but you sit here and want to die. My advice is to find something you love to do and do it. I love drawing. My thoughts get too jumbled together sometimes and drawing helps me sort them out. A mistake depressed teenagers make is spending time on the internet. It makes you more isolated. So go outside, take a walk and do some exercise.

I currently take Amatriptalyn (Spelling?) for depression and sleeping issues. I take some sort of over the counter medication that you just put on your tongue for anxiety. It takes the edge of things quite well.

Best of luck!

Years of experience



I feel like this often too and i really dont know why. I feel like it helps to do/think about things that make you happy, and to focus on random positive things. Also don't put too much thought into things that bring you down. When things get bad, just do something that you know will make you somewhat happy and run with it. Finding a hobby or something you're passionate about works too. Hope this helps!:)



I have never been in a situation like yours, so I was not going to answer, but I am not satisfied with any of the current answers either. I know that when I get anxious about something I try to think: 'Will this matter in a year?' Most of the time the answer is no and I can put things in perspective and relax slightly.

Also, as for university, you know what is best for you. Please do not go just because others want you to. Take a year off if you think that would help. But make sure to have things to do and not just sit around the house all day. Keeping busy and having meaning is the most important thing anyone can do for themselves. I hope this helps.

This is a tough situation, do not let anyone underestimate it, but also don't underestimate yourself. You are an amazing unique person. Every person is important and can make a difference in the world. Find your purpose in life. Volunteer. Help people. Helping others will help you.




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