I think I am headed for depression?!


Question: I think I am headed for depression?
Ok - so lots of things. I am going to take the time to put what I can here:
1. I was a only child (am now 35). My mom and pop are gone. I am married to the woman I love and have 2 kids both in primary school.
2. I think(!) I am not doing too well in personal, family as well as professional life.

(a) I am an average number cruncher but tend to freeze up when people start spouting numbers. I get so hassled by it that I make several mistakes when doing my work (most of them because I am in a hurry to get the work done.

(b) I remember having a pretty good memory (I can still remember lots of phone numbers and people from even my primary school and where they all lived etc) but now when I hear my boss or other colleagues spout data I feel very lost. Data on company figures, competitor information, even plain old product details etc.

(c) I have put on a lot of weight (overweight by 25 kilos) and have a beer belly though I dont drink. I completed a marathon last year in November so I know I am fit but I dont like the way I look or the way I dress.

(d) My main job is statistical - but I did my early schooling in Statistics around 13 years ago and am in my current job because I love the work but I have lost touch with the subject and though I know what I hear or am talking about - some of the formulae, methods just dont make sense any more. Though I am new to the work - I was a operations manager for 12 years before I took the transfer to this analytics job.

(e) I love to read and run as well but I am not able to read stuff or run as I am not getting the time.

(f) I am also having issues adjusting to my partners behavior. She does all that she possibly can I guess but some stuff, no matter how hard I try and ignore just gets my goat. Never picks up a phone call (says was in the bath, was somewhere else, the phone was somewhere else, couldnt hear it ring, etc etc etc... the list is endless.), this irritates me no end as I usually call her when its really important or else I make a note of it and talk when we meet or email her. She will not want to get up in the morning on time (makes a right job of it and ruins my day) or sleep on time (says 10 PM is too early to sleep when we have to get up at 6 AM the next day to send the children off to school and me to work). Then gets up with a grumpy demeanour and a fight normally ensues. I understand she is not a morning person but cannot she adjust for the sake of domestic peace and getting the stuff that needs to be done - done in time?

Also I try and not say anything to her when I am really angry but we have been together so long that she can figure just by looking at me that I am not very happy and she will keep prodding me until I say something about why I am upset or angry and then when I tell her - she will scream and shout and of course then I will too and another fight will happen though I try to avoid it by keeping quiet and not saying anything.

(g) My son seems to be in his own world. He does not remember to flush the toilet after he is done, does not remember to brush his teeth before sleeping(his breath is real foul when he wakes up) and he stinks because he has not taken bath properly. He has got warts now on his face - the doc says its because of hygiene issues. He is getting treated for that now. He also does not like to sit and study - can spend hours on the net, playing games and not notice the world around him but when he sits to study even the neighbor walking in his bedroom can disturb him.

I am really at my wits end. What do I do? HELP! I am depressed

Answers:

First step you need to do the hardest part and go and visit a doctor (asap) it's nothing to be embarrassed about, depression is like THE most common mental illness. They will be able to give you medication and therapy to help you.

Find a support group - hopefully this will help you not feel so alone as you will be surrounded by people who are in the same boat as you, they're really good and you will be able to talk through your problems and emotions with people who completely understand and sympathise.

Read some self help books, I don't know any off hand but if you google it or amazon it it'll come up with the most highly rated one for you to read.

Take up a sport: exercise is well known to help boost serotonin levels and not only that but it will help you feel good about yourself.

Eat healthily & drink lots of water: This will give your body all the nutrients it needs to stay happy and you'll feel better for it.

Keep a diary: you can vent your frustration through the diary and you will feel like someone is listening and in effect they are because you could always show it to the doctor or someone. Plus you could then establish if your mood flows in any sort of pattern, this will help the doctor diagnose you.

Ring support line, like Samaritans and so on (I don't know any off hand but if you google them there will be loads! Samaritans also offer an email help service :)

Whenever you feel sad listen to happy, uplifting music like:

- The Avett Brothers (best album is "I & Love & You")
- Anything by the Beatles <3

Equally watch some comedy like Only Fools & Horses, Fawlty Towers, Black Adder etc :]

Hope this helps and you get the support and help you need :D

Good luck, all the best xo
?

personal experience(:



You seem more stressed than depressed. See a shrink, they do help.



talk with a doctor about it



You need to de-stress your life. One way is meditating by quieting your mind and letting go of everyday worry. Imagine and feel peace all around you. Find a quiet place for you to do this. his will allow you to connect with the divine. Make some time for you to do the things you like.

Eliminate processed foods and eat wholesome real foods, such veggies and fruits. Try to eat them raw like salads. If you eat meats, eat organic and lean or beans. Take the time to exercise, such walking, playing a sport, or working out. Drink plenty of water.

Enjoy life with your family. Go out to the park together and enjoy each other company. Laugh and play games. Have those Sunday dinners together at the table or a time when everyone can. Take the time to smell the roses and stop rushing. Do your work at a steady pace and make sure it is accurate. Allow yourself to breathe.

Reduce your son time on the computer and have him play with other children outside in the sun. Spend some quality time with him as well. Set up play dates. Interact with him more and show him again how to clean himself properly. Check him before he leaves to make sure is clean. Make sure he is getting all of his nutrients by eating wholesome meals with lots of veggies and fruits. Also make sure he is not constipated and eliminating waste. Ask your son if everything ok and that he can come to about anything.

As for your wife, get some counseling. Instead of focusing on the bad, focus on what she is great for. You and her should go out on a date or a mini vacation. Do chores together and communicate without arguing. Remember it takes two to argue.

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Try and find professional help. Talk it out with someone you trust.

I answered this to another similar question:

Sometimes life can be very hard.

But keep your hopes up and you will find answer.

Are you religious? If you are (like I am), I pray to God a lot for guidance, you should try that too if you are religious and even if you are not you can consider it. He loves you beyond your comprehension and if you try to speak to Him He will listen.

Good luck and I hope you overcome this soon. :)

Also, if you think life is getting too overwhelming try and make changes: take a vacation, etc.

Good luck! =)




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