I feel like I need to leave people behind because of my mental illness? Any advi!


Question: I feel like I need to leave people behind because of my mental illness? Any advice?
I have a mental illness that makes me struggle in social settings. When I make a social mistake or "say the wrong thing", someones feelings get hurt or I'm told that's not appropriate, i apologize and then I start to get really upset about it all day. I hate making mistakes. Usually the other person is ok and already forgives me, but I'm still stuck on it and think I'm a bad person. I can't seem to be happy.

Today, I had a miscommunication with someone--she was upset with me at first. I then apologized and said that it was a mistake. And then she forgave me for my mistake and said it's ok. I then said, "no it's not ok, what I did was wrong, so I gotta go.". She then wondered what was going on, and I then said, "trust me, I'm doing you a favor by leaving because a insane and bad person like me can't be seen here.". Is this an abnormal thing to do? I can't keep doing this.

I have left friends and some family behind because I think I'm a bad person for making these social mistakes. And I also think it isn't fair for them to deal with me if I'm going to keep making these social miscommunication mistakes. I don't want to leave anymore people because of this?
How can I break this bad habit of punishing myself?
How can I stop being so upset and move on?

Answers:

You sound like you have fairly profound social phobia, and that it is seriously impacting your life in a negative way. My best advice to you would be to start seeing a licensed therapist who has experience specifically in treating social anxiety. Don't just go to anyone, read around and ask your doctor to recommend someone who specializes in that area. There are a LOT of people with social anxiety out there, and your doctor will be able to point you in the direction of someone who works primarily with social anxiety patients.

Therapy may seem scary at first, but it's not, it is really helpful and it will improve your life situation almost definitely. You just have to be willing to try. I would also encourage you to journal, a lot. Even if you don't know what to write, just write about your day, your thoughts, and let it go from there. Use the journal as a way to examine your inner feelings and thoughts, to challenge the thoughts that are irrational, etc.

For example, you said you feel like it "isn't fair" for people to "deal with you" when you make communication errors. Do you feel that way about other people? If a friend made a communication error with you, would you think, "Ugh, I hate dealing with this person, they can't communicate at all! I wish they'd just leave!" I highly doubt it. But you are assuming automatically that other people feel that way about you. Is that really accurate, or is that just the anxiety talking? Therapy will be able to help you delve deeper into this idea and really challenge your anxiety at its core. You will find that anxiety is like a playground bully - once you stand up to it, it backs off.

Good luck!



You don't give any examples. All I see here is you putting yourself down. Stop apologizing.
Who is telling you what you are doing in the social setting is wrong? Do you believe them?
Are you autistic?



go see a professional psychologist who can help you through this, i promise it will be much more helpful than yahoo answers



Mental illness or Autism? Just curious. What type of mentall illness?

What types of social mistakes? Can you give an example?

Saying "trust me, I'm doing you a favor by leaving because a insane and bad person like me can't be seen here" is pretty socially awkward. That is going to make people pretty uncomfortable. Don't say negative things about yourself to others!

Do you have an iphone or an ipod? There is a hidden curriculum application that will help you with social rules. It is wonderful.

You sound like a very good person! You care about others and don't want to hurt them. But leaving them behind is rejecting them to protect yourself and you are hurting them by doing this. Why don't you work on your social skills. You need to memorize the social rules :) You just lack some skills. You are not a bad person at all!



you need to see a psychiatrist for help with a diagnosis and treatment. also a psychologist could be a big help to you in talk therapy. i go to both and they are a big help to me. i behave in the same way but to be honest with you ... you are not insane it is just your mental illness that tells you that you are. you need to tell yourself positive statements to that effect when you feel that way. after awhile it really does start to help you. many blessings to you!

personal experiences.




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