I'm not suicidal but I can't help thinking about this--?!


Question: I'm not suicidal but I can't help thinking about this--?
I'm not suicidal,but my mom thinks I'm 'depressed',but I don't know really. I'm not contemplating my death or how it's all gonna go. But for some reason,I always have things like this in my mind:I think about what the world would be like if I was dead,I for some reason picture myself in a coffin,and no one attending my funeral. I feel like my family doesn't care about me,and I don't know why. My mom verbally abuses me,on her bad days,and my step dad..just a dick 24/7. I imagine my mom writing me letters {as if she cared} and visiting my grave sight. I have no mental problems,but in the past have seriously considered suicide,I threatened to O.D. on pills in front of my mom,but I just couldn't bring myself to do it..I don't want to die,but I don't want to be in this shitty world sometimes either...if that makes any sense. My best friend passed away 5 years ago,and I always think of him. My main thoughts:death. I always think about death,mostly because of what happened to him,and the fact that so many people are perishing these days...how can I stop thinking about what would happen if I died? Why am I daydreaming of these things?
Thanks!
ALSO:ALL ANSWERS are appreciated,BUT I do not want to hear that I should go to a 'counselor',I do not need a counselor,or a doctor,I have no desire to end my own life..so I really don't need that.

Answers:

Don't worry, deep down your family cares. You most likely have depression.

Just think about your friend, he wouldn't want you to die now would he? I think he has the best of wishes for you. Deep down your family really cares. Don't try to commit suicide again please, don't die. Ask your mom to take you to a doctor and tell her you think you have depression. Don't worry, it's all in your head. Try finding things to take your mind off of things. Listen to uplifting and upbeat music. Find your own talents and pleasures in life. For me, I love drawing, and manipulating things with my hands, like knitting, building, or writing. Find you own happiness. Just find ways to take your mind off of things. If you start to wonder suicidal thoughts quickly get a stress ball or something. Just find your own personal happiness. If you wonder about death and want to die, then just think about the friend and what he'd want for you.



Youre craving attention. Your thoughts on "what if i was dead" and romanticising about how people would finally care for you when you were dead are in all likelihood, you wishing that people cared for you more now.



If you are wondering about what happens when we die, I suggest you read the Bible. God wants you to have peace about dying. He sent His Son to die for you so that you could have eternal life. If you call on Him and ask Him to save you and come into your heart He will. Read John 3:16 and the book of Romans. You can know where you will go when you die for sure the book of 1 John tells us so. "For God so loved the world that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life." John 3:16



What you need to stop doing is Dwelling in that thought! You have so much to live for!! Think of your ambitions, what do you want to do in life? If you haven't found that, DO IT! Life is the most precious thing you will ever own. Think about the future, and PRESENT TIME. If you die, you die. There is nothing more to it. So stop wasting time on nonsense things like that, AND START YOUR LIFE WITH A RENEWED CONFIDENCE! :DDD




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