is it 'wrong' to self harm?!


Question: Is it 'wrong' to self harm?
Hey!
yes, yes. i'm a self harmer. i'm not really going to get into my reasons behind hurting myself or anything. one- that's not the point of this. two- no one wants to hear my sobstory.
but in your opinions and whatnot, would you say self harm is "wrong" to do? 'cause i've been referred to a councillor and everything. i don't overdo it at all, yeah. i've tried suicide before. but that's not my point. everyone overreacts to it, i've had people call me selfish and stupid and other craap.. i just want to know why?

Answers:

I think:
"Wrong" is a bit of a strong word. When someone has pain, it triggers empathy in others, so they are in pain too (same area of the brain is activated). But if someone is self-harming there is some deeper pain stuck that needs to be resolved, and the self-harming is just a redirection of this pain that temporarily calms that deeper pain but helps it remain and grow. Most people don't self-harm. So they have great difficulty understanding what's going on and may make moral or other judgements which are inappropriate or just try things to attempt to make the self-harmer change because they care about the self-harmer and other people around them and also they feel pain themselves and want that to change.
I've never self-harmed, but I know people who have and they often say something along the lines one of two things:
- they were trying to get rid of something else and feel in some way purified and restored and it temporarily seemed to do that but the self harming got worse and worse
- it was like something else controlled them and it seemed like so did everyone else, they didn't feel
that they were in control of themselves or their own lives or what happened to them, but harm to themselves was something that the could control and nothing and no-one else could, again just got worse.
Clearly self-harming is not the real answer to resolving the problem, need to find a way with help to exorcise and get rid of what's really underneath causing pain and resulting in this behaviour that causes more pain, and realise that it doesn't need to be stuck there anymore at all. Lots of other people have managed that so there's no reason why you can't.

What do I think? It's just something that happens as one of the consequences of stuff that happens all around. It's one of the negative things that can get changed as we go along, each as our own experiences give us opportunities and help teach us how to do that. Like you with self-harm. Lots of people do it but some go through it and then stop and help it stop, and some others help to stop the things that contribute to it happening.

And I would listen and try to understand without judging, but I don't sympathise with sob stories either and help to keep people up in it that way. Just talk about feelings, thoughts memories and stuff and different ways that might be looked at them and how they can be changed so it might soon not be a problem any more.

But at the end of the day it's up to you, you can choose to either hang on to pain and let it grow and disrupt and control you and help to infect everyone else with it, or you can take back control yourself and put it in the past where it belongs and gather all the positive that comes out of that experience and help to infect people with that instead. (If it were me I'd choose the second one, but I'm not resonsible for choices, so I don't need to judge you. I take the view that we have free will and are self-empowered. And if people try to judge me I just consider whether there's any value in what they say that I can use. I would care that they were upset and usually address that in some way if it's significant enough, but I'm not into self-blame either. That would just be another kind of self-harm to me. I like to get rid of that stuff that just makes things worse, like blame and self-blame, no blame strategy, and clear the way to move on to a better future.)



Self harm is just a way of coping with stuff: a coping mechanism. Usually coping mechanisms that cause harm in the longer term (drinking, drugs, cutting, smoking, binge eating, shouting) are not as useful as the ones that do you good in the longer term (exercise, study, meditation, prayer...)
I get stressed, I have a cigarette. You get stressed, you cut. Most people have maladaptive coping mechanisms, because they work well in the short term. In the long term, they create more problems than they solve.



nowhileno one can tell you why other people call you things, but they might call you selfish because in their eyes, you are not considering the effects your self-harming might have on others (even if you feel it is not effecting others).

is it wrong to self harm... in my opinion, yes. why? cos you never know who might also be effected by it. yes you might feel no one cases, and yes that may well be what it looks like but sometimes people care only they are afraid to show it because they think you'd interpret it the wrong way

end of the day, no one can stop you. it is down to yourself to stop yourself and\or identify any underlying issues that might be causing your self-harming



Outside of the religious reasons, it's frowned upon by most civilizations. Self harm is generally viewed as a call for attention or mental problems by most people. But hey, I suppose you are free to do what you want for the most part. However there are repercussions for your actions. Be prepared to put up with the confrontations to follow.



it,s wrong in the sense that you give more pain to lpeople who love you than you do to yourself. they suffer, especially after your death if you suicide. you don,t live in a vacuum. if you lived all alone on a desert island; who would know? we all indulge in self centered behaviour. this is the ultimate self centered behaviour.



I wouldn't say it's wrong. I have done it before. It's not wrong, it's just unhealthy. I learned to stop... I would wear a tight rubber band around my wrist, and if I ever felt like cutting myself, I would pull it back and let go. The snap on your wrist deals great pain and it is much healthier and safer than cutting yourself or any other harm. Good luck, get better! :)

Experience



Yes it's wrong.
And dangerous.
And why try killing your self?
Message me if you don't wanna post it here.
Life is worth living, and it ain't worth causing self pain.
So like really, message me so I can try getting you to stop.



Certainly better than harming another!



If self harming was the right thing to do, you would probably be asking if its wrong not to self harm!



Why self harm? Just chill the **** out and read a book/go for a walk or something



Yes



Society and people who don't self harm have a very skewed idea of what self injury actually is. A lot of people believe that it's done for attention, to fit in, or is a form of suicide attempt. In most cases, none of these are true. It can be very confusing to those who don't suffer from intense emotions or urges to engage in this behavior.

Self harm is viewed as "wrong" because it's seen as an unnatural act by non SI-ers. Most people think the idea of cutting their own skin is repulsive and painful but to those who are addicted, it becomes a life sustaining action. It's seen as taboo and is frowned upon in the mental health community. Doctors tell you so many things to do in place of it but it seems like nothing works as well.

But yes, cutting is harmful. Not "wrong" but rather a poor way of coping with life and unbearable emotions. It can lead to death, severe injury, blood loss and hospitalization. There are better ways to cope and you aren't selfish for doing it. You're just trying to do the best you can.

There are better ways to deal :) I hope you find some. x

experience



Simply put yes, it's very wrong to self-harm, for 2 reasons.

1. It's a form of self-hatred, and all self-harmers spiral out of control at some point, so you're destroying yourself(no matter how in control you might feel right now), and that's bad for you of course, but also for the people around you, because you're dismissing their love, and care, which is a very saddening experience to see someone slip away in darkness, and no matter what you do, they just don't want the positivity.(they get it confirmed they're not good enough to save you).

2. On a social level this is also a factor why people react so much to it, because 95% of communication is just you hearing back, what you send out, and self-harmers, vibe "hate me"(you might not be aware of it, but it really is, it's the trigger for people to get that mad, because people don't like someone vibe-ing that negative an emotion towards 'em, and holds you responsible for doing it).

So they're not over-reacting, because you're used to the hate you carry around inside you, most of us aren't because it's not good for you.




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