Depressed, get family off my back?!


Question: Depressed, get family off my back?
So I have had depression for a couple years (which is a long time when you're fifteen) and I recently told my family about it and I am seeking help from a therapist. The thing is, my family keeps trying to "give support", which really means "bug me to get out more, exercise more, and generally do things I really don't want to do at this point". I mean, I'm already getting help, and I know they mean well, but how can I tell them that they are getting on my nerves? It wears on me hearing that I am always at fault, and what I am doing isn't good enough.

Answers:

As a third person looking in at your family's dynamic and you,
I can easily see what they are doing wrong.

They have been encouraged by your therapist to help you become more active and get out more. This will help you to recover faster. However, it is very hard for someone with depression to do this. Often, the depressed person wants to isolate.
And so, I see where you are coming from and where they are coming from.
May I suggest a healthy compromise?
YOU must be the one to tell them that sometimes there are things that you really don't want to do and no one likes to be forced into doing something that they don't want to do. Ask them how they would feel if YOU made up an agenda for them and forced them to comply with it? Ask them to put themselves in your place for once.
Tell them that you are recovering and that you are very hopeful for your future. Remind them that you are a teenager and that there will be social functions coming up that you will want to get out and attend. You understand that getting out and doing things is part of your recovery and you are willing to do this.
And so, in future, they may ASK YOU...or suggest to you that you do something, but if you decline and say no, they should let it go. There will be other opportunities ahead.

I wish you and your family all the best.



I had a similar problem. The best thing to do is tell them you'd like to talk. Then sit them down and tell them that you know thy mean well but you'd like a little more independence. I'm sure they'll understand if they are really trying to help you.




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