How do I get over a traumatic experience that occurred online?!


Question: How do I get over a traumatic experience that occurred online?
I knew about this website online where you can chat with people from all over the world. So I got an account and tried it out. I loved it because I was getting along with people and making new friends. Something that is hard for me to do, but it had it's negative side. I got addicted to this website. I would feel guilty if I wouldn't log on or feel like my day wouldn't be complete without logging on. So, I then faced this problem and confirmed it as an addiction and dropped the website from my life. I was living a good life, and got a new hobby for watching anime so it took away that guilt of not logging on the website. Then recently I started having trouble in my school with the school psychologist and my teacher. I was put in a program separate from the regular students because of my anxiety and depression disorder. Well that problem lead me to going back to that website, and I did. I hadn't been on for a long time so things changed and such but I just played along and tried to talk to people and start conversations. Well then this guy started talking to me, and I was desperate so I talked back to him. Usually I don't talk to guys online because I know of the risks of what may happen but I did anyways. Then he took me to a private chat and started talking me in a really perverted way, and I played along because as I said I was desperate of what was going on at school and I really wanted a huge distraction. Then he asked to "cyber" (which everyone probably knows what it is). I was hesitant but then agreed, and it makes me sick to think I ever accepted that. After it was over he then started saying all the things to me that pain me to say right now, but i'll type it down anyways. He said, "Have you ever heard of players?" When he said that you can't imagine how my heart started beating and all the sweat that was forming all over my body. I knew I had messed up, and what's worse is that i'm a Christian. I felt guilty, but apparently it wasn't enough for him to know I was on the verge of screaming. He then started blaming me for ruining his life and that on that day it was his girlfriend's birthday. I just wanted to grab a knife and stab myself over and over, but then he said even more. That he was a hideous looking man and that his girlfriend was beautiful and she loved him. That he didn't deserve her, and I just didn't know what to say so I just responded, "Then what are you doing here? Does your girlfriend know your doing this?" He said yes that she knows and it hurts her and him. So I then thought maybe he has an addiction towards cyber $ex, so even after all the things he said to me I felt bad for him. My family has always told me that i'm cursed with a very good heart. So then I told him that I was going through a hard time, and that I apologize for this. I also have the tenancy to apologize for things that aren't even my fault. So, he then started this rant on how i'm easy and I should be ashamed of myself. I just didn't know how to respond. I literally felt like it really was all my fault. That my actions done here will never be forgiven by God. Now I know I should've left because obviously this was getting out of hand and I was dealing with a psychopath here but I stayed. I was paralyzed, all this felt like a dream. All the things he kept on saying were messing with my head. I then later found out that he was a satanist because he talked about all this training dealing with some kind of power, but I didn't really focus on that because I was feeling like I was going to get a heart attack. Until then he stoped and said he was going to kill himself, and that I have no business trying to stop him because I was nothing to him. By this time I suddenly felt numb and just responded, "Just go for it... I won't stop you." With those words I left the website completely. It was then 4 in the morning and I really felt like I was going to die right there. He literally had just played with my mind in the most disturbing way possible. I was just lying on my bed feeling dead. When all of a sudden I got the most scariest feeling in the pit of my stomach and felt a presence in my room watching me. I just started crying and ran to my parent's room and before entering controlled my emotions and asked my mom if I could sleep with her. She agreed and I just fell asleep and kept on waking up every hour of the night until it was morning, and I just got up from the bed and I felt like my heart was going to fall to my feet. To this point I haven't told anyone about this and I felt like I really needed to tell someone. If anyone can help me with good advice, bible verses, or a good book to get over this please don't hesitate to answer. I know I have done wrong for agreeing with that man and I deeply regret it, so please no harsh lectures of what I have done. I know this question is long, but I nee

Answers:

I am a middle aged guy and I was part of the internet when it wasn't even anything like what you see now. We used to log in with this long string of letters and numbers, and all we really had was a black screen with green letters on it. You could get into something like bulletin boards, and there was something similar to chat, but nothing like today. I got into some files one day and started reading this 'journal' in this guy's files. I thought the guy sounded interesting so I kept reading. At some point the guy's journal took a sexual turn. Again, remember this is long before internet porn and all of that. Well anyway, I guess being a guy I just couldn't stop reading. But next thing I knew I was reading a story of rape, torture and murder. With descriptions that were so clear and detached and precise (medical like) that I suspect even to this day, it was the journal of an actual serial killer. I don't know how he would know certain things about certain kinds of wounds without having seen them himself. But I couldn't stop reading. I read the whole thing, and it was the closest thing to 'evil' I have ever come across. It left me feeling scared, shaken, and sick. For a long time I would think about it every day and feel sweaty and nauseated. But I was so ashamed for reading it and even more ashamed that I was so messed up about it, that I didn't mention it. Then one day I was talking to my wife and I'm not sure how it came up but I just started telling her everything. She listened, and asked me some questions, but mainly just put my mind at ease. And it instantly stopped bothering me and now I can think and talk about it and only feel a bit creepy and not those feelings of guilt and fear.

You were a victim of an abuser of sorts, and I know your upset is real. I know just how you feel based on what I went through. I can assure you he wasn't a Satanist. I actually know some Satanists and they aren't anything like the movies. So when he was talking about his powers and all of that, he was just saying those things to scare and manipulate you. If you are worried about evil forces or whatever, no worries. Nothing he said to you can really hurt you. Also, you have to understand this guy is mentally ill. His mind doesn't work like yours and mine. He saw you as a victim, and it got him off to say things to you knowing exactly what buttons to push to make you very upset. When you told him do what you are going to do and signed off, that was exactly the right thing to do! So pat yourself on the back for that one.

You learned a very valuable lesson, and even though you were understandably very upset, you handled yourself very well. You took the control back in the situation by cutting it off. So instead of continuing to feel bad, feel good. You can know that your instincts were right on, even if you were a bit foolish to get into the bad spot to start with. Next time you won't be so likely to go back and do this again. You can contact me if you like, or talk to a friend, but overall I think your lesson was learned. You don't need to be fearful any more. Write the loser off as someone who is totally insane. Just remember how you feel now and next time you consider doing something risky, think about this first.



This man is a total stranger to you and shouldn't matter. God forgives no matter what, too.



im sorry to hear you were victimized by this guy but you cant blame yourself. This guy is a predator and should be thought of as such. i dont care what kind of problems he said he has what he did was wrong and there is no excuse. there are statutory laws against this type of thing, not to mention cyber bullying. you really ought to consider telling your mother about this. not necessarily to get the guy in trouble but to help you deal with this.



To be honest with you, the guy was probably trolling that website trying to get a rise out of someone, ANYONE, and that person happened to be YOU. If he was really going to kill himself, he would have done it already...he wouldn't have talked to someone all night about it. I bet after you left the conversation, the jackas*s probably laughed it off and went to bed sleeping like a baby for the rest of the night. This is not your fault hun, and God won't punish you for cybering with a random stranger. God is very forgiving, just remember that. Also remember that this has nothing to do with God. Just be careful who you talk to the next time you go into chat rooms. Hope this helps.



Wait, What? I don't even understand. You didn't do anything wrong...you are just bugging out for no reason! Either take a sleeping pill and go to bed - go outside. Exercise?? Talk to your family? Watch Anime? I don't know!! This dude doesn't matter - he isn't anything to you, you never met him before..

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Add details to your question to answer my question and i'll edit my answer to write back

So are you saying that you got naked in front of him on the webcam? or are you scared because you told him to kill himself? And how old are you?
And what did he mean by "players"? i don't get it?



I know what it is like to have your mind messed with, I'm very sorry, but it doesn't go away. People who know to much mess with us for the fun of it, and then you're scarred. People who haven't had this happen don't understand and say 'get over it' 'oh well' and 'what's the problem?', but only those who have felt this will understand. IT DOESN'T LEAVE. You might forget it for a while, but something always brings your mind back to it. I really am sorry, but I have had this happen, only it was in the form of dreams and the downfall of events in my life. My escape is the computer, and it's killing me. Just try to forget it, it will be hard, but take your mind off it. If that doesn't work, tell friends, family, and listen to people who have had this happen. I know this is long, but it is typed with honesty.



I know the feeling- a sick feeling in the pit of your stomach that won't go away and makes you want to spew? Yeah, I've felt it before. Honestly, I've been in the same situation as you, and I solved the problem in less than a couple of days.
Simply, I told my mum.
I was surprised at how supportive she was. She acknowledged that I made a mistake, but she really did help. After I told my mum, I began ringing my older sisters and closest friends, who reassured me by telling me that it had happened to them as well.
Now, it's all over, I've learnt two things:
1. Never, EVER keep it to yourself. It does NOT help. In fact, it makes it a hell of a lot worse!!!
2. Never make the same mistake again.

If you don't want to feel like this for a long time, then do NOT keep it to yourself, sweetie!
Good luck :)



There are men in this world that know exactly what to say to you to make you feel like you do. They get enough information from you and use it against you. To give you an example, Charles Manson got those young girls to kill on his orders.
The guy that messed with you is not a psychopath, he is a manipulative evil man that needs his head crushed with a baseball bat.
Forget about him, he could only harm you if he knows where you live or where you go. Move on with your life and learn from this episode.
You sound like you are young, and still in school, so to get out of your shyness, join a debating class in school, and continue to see your school psychologist and tell him/her that you want to join a debating class, and you will see that you will be able to handle talking to people without having to go on line, and it would not hurt to talk to your priest, but in today's society, don't trust everything he says either, but talk to him with an open mind, and a clear head.
God Bless You young lady you will do well in life!

Certified paramedic and a father of 2 great daughters




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