i think my boyfriend has a mental illness please help us we just wanna be happy?!


Question: I think my boyfriend has a mental illness please help us we just wanna be happy?
me and this guy had been going out for 2 1/2 years. he broke up with me a week ago and revealed that he thinks he has a mental illness. he broke up because he doesnt wanna stay with me and me decide along the way that i cant do it anymore, i cant deal with this illness. Well, i told him i would never do that to him but he doesnt want to and now we're just friends and still talking but its hard. WE still love each other.

so this is what he told me about his mental problem:
HE said he's had the problem ever since he could remember. he says its like if something isn't right, he HAS to fix it. it could be what someone said, a problem, ANYTHING that he feels is not right. its like fix the problem fix the problem. He feels like everyone thinks he's an asshole because of it even his dad, cuz when someone says something, he has to correct it he has to make it right.

I think his mom has a couple of mental problems. honestly, i think she's schizo. she's also an alcoholic and she used to do real hardcore drugs. I hope she didnt do any drugs when she was pregnant with him
And also he told me that his family from his dad's side a lot of them are considered mentally crazy

I just wanna know how he can get help because he is kinda poor doesnt have any money rite now and no insurance. he's waiting for this job to call back he's gona get paid 11.50 so maybe he can pay for whatever it is he has to do so we can be together and happy

Answers:

Try this website www.211us.org or you can just call 211 this is a national referral helpline. Tell them what you are looking for and how much you can afford. They will give you the names and numbers of people in your area.

You can also call the Mental Health Association, their number is in the phone book for your area. The have very low cost and free mental health help.

One more is www.nami.org (National Alliance on Mental Illness) their website is full of information.



He is telling you the truth and as far as a new job,forget it for now until he seeks help. Remember this is his problem and you cannot fix it. When he does take action to help himself with a psychiatrist and therapy it may take him a while to adjust. He is doing you a favor by not involving you. There are mental health clinics he can seek out.

RN



okay he does not have anything wrong with his brain.but yes he does have problems at home that makes him think hes crazy. i advise him to be smart and be the man that he is and stay strong find a job and not worry what goes on at home or listen to them, when he gets enough money to leave hes house for now walk to the park and clear your mind out your not crazy.



It's possible that he thinks something is wrong with him but he's not sure what it is. If there is a lot of mental illness in his family it is likely that he may be suffering from some sort of mental illness. It's also possible that he is making a mountain over a mole hill. He may assume that the problems that life brings is a sign of mental illness. It's hard to say without knowing more about him. Wanting to fix everything is not a mental illness. Does he exhibit any other signs? I can understand though if he does feel like he's suffering from some sort of mental illness that he wouldn't want to involve you and bring you down. It sounds to me like he has self esteem issues and possibly doesn't feel as if he's good enough for you. That's his problem that he needs to work out. Don't try to believe that you can "fix him." If he's wanting to "fix everything" then why doesn't he feel like "fixing himself?" Instead of walking away and making you feel bad? Doesn't sound to me like he wants to "fix everything." Maybe instead of him trying to fix everything else maybe he should fix his own life first. That's a rediculous reason to not be with you. I understand that people with depression tend to withdraw from people close to them, but it doesn't even sound like he's depressed. As for him getting help...there are plenty of resources out in the community. A lot of mental health agencies charge based on income or sliding scale fee. If he wants to "fix everything" then tell him to look in the phonebook and start making some phone calls to help himself. Don't make this your problem. I wish you both much peace and happiness. Good luck!



Honey, wake up and smell the coffee...this is called "letting you down easy."

It's what guys do when they want their freedom but don't want a breakup scene...or to feel guilty about you weeping and wailing because you've been dumped. So they come up with a little lie...the best ones have an element of truth in them so they are most believable...that gets them some distance without making you all freaked out.

His tale is a variation on the old "it's not you, it's me" line that guys have been handing out since the first caveman wanted out of his relationship without getting clubbed over the head by his ex.

Walk away and find someone who wants to be with YOU more than he wants something else (whether it is to be alone or to "fix everything").

Argh! DECADES of learning about men and their mysterious ways.




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