My mom always turns my therapists against me?!


Question: My mom always turns my therapists against me?
I see a therapist, and I like her. She's a good therapist, but a couple of days ago my mom talked to her and now my therapist doesn't talk to me like she used to. My mom loves making me seem like the bad guy and not her. My mom & I used to get in fights all the time, and sometimes they would get physical. Most of the time my mom would hit me first. My mom told my therapist that I would "attack" her for no reason! Which didn't happen!

And now my therapist thinks I have extreme anger problems and thinks I'm like mean and crazy. And now I won't be able to talk to her the same way I used to. Why does my mom always do this?? I think she does it so whatever I tell them they won't believe me or take me seriously. Now I have to switch therapists again.

My mom is an alchoholic and has depression, and has a hard time controlling herself. She never admits that she does anything wrong, so she convinces people that I'm the crazy one not her.

Is your mom knieving and evil too? What can I do??

Answers:

First of all, I'm sorry you're going through this with your mom. I think if this is how you truly feel then you should just talk to your therapist one on one about it. I feel like if you went directly to your mom with this, she would just feel accused. It's best to just privately tell the therapist beforehand, so she can keep it in mind. The search for the right therapist isn't easy and I hope you find a better one. Also, if you do decide to tell your therapist, approach the subject nicely. Don't seem like you're accusing her because then it makes you seem like the bad person. Just tell your therapist that you're mom tends to (with or without knowing) make you seem like you're wrong or the "bad person" as you said. I'm sure your therapist has seen something like that before so she should understand.

I really hope everything works out with you. :) Don't give up! God Bless You! <3



Speak with your therapist. Tell her about your mother's problems and also tell her that your mother is not to be trusted. It is the therapists job to understand your side of the story and work with you to work things out.



Talk to your therapist about your mom. Tell her you think she should start seeing her aswell. Suggest to take a polygraph (lie detector) test to let her know you're not lying.



talk to ur mother about it



I noticed something interesting in your answer - 'most of the time my mom would hit me first.' You don't say how your mom hit you so I can't really say whether your hitting her back or not was self defense but you should never be the one to initiate an attack. Personally I don't agree with physical punishment at your age but a slap across the face wouldn't be a reason to hit your mom back, in my opinion. If you are attacking your mom first you do have an anger problem which you need to learn to deal with. If your mom is pushing you that close to the edge that you feel the need to hit her, walk away. Period. If you can't learn to do that you'll soon be in jail for assault.

Anyway, your therapist would not be telling your mom what you say. That would violate a bunch of conditions. Your mom may be good at being manipulative, as most alcoholics are, but a good therapist would see through that in a minute. But there is no such thing as one side of the story. There's your version, her version and the truth which lies somewhere in between.

I suggest you ask your therapist about this. Tell her that you feel she treats you differently than what she did before and see what she has to say.




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