Why is it so impossible for me to be happy?!


Question: Why is it so impossible for me to be happy?
i am just really mad and dissapointed with myself that I have people say they're going to be my friend but then there's always another friend that is way better then me and they are way closer. I thought I had a best friend who I could say I was close to but we haven't been getting along and we've been getting in fights and she called me selfish and we don't talk much anymore. I'm just tired of life being this way. I can't even make friends online anymore. I don't think people like me. I am like the opposite of a people magnet. I'm not horribly ugly or fat, i smile and keep a positive attitude, no matter what I feel or do or say, I feel like I never fit in at school. Is it so bad that I just want to be close to someone? I'm tired, I'm frustrated. I'm tired of people promising to be my friend but then they get tired of me or get bored. People just don't take interest in me. Is there something wrong with me? Is it because I'm not cool enough or I don't dress like a complete slut or have the nicest things? Is it because I don't have a "great life"? Or is it because I don't believe in God? I'm trying really hard personally and everytime I feel like I've taken a step forward, I feel like I'm also taking two steps back. Why is it so impossible????? I just want people to like me. I'm so frustrated. One of these days I'm going to kill myself and just be done with it. I'm tired of being so alone all the time and not being accepted. I just want to be close to someone and to have a best friend. I want to be myself.

Answers:

This going to be a reaaaly long answer, but you deserve a proper answer to a real problem. The strangest thing about life is no matter how hard monday is, as long as tuesday and wednesday are okay by thursday you'll have forgotten you were having a bad week - as soon as things change and start to look up, you can't remember - or even believe - how bad things used to be. We have ALL felt how you are feeling but as you grow although most of us stay basically the same person the extremes you're talking about start to level out. The way you are feeling is typical of the point in life you are at and though a lot of is down to hormones and is in your head, is none theless real and valid. But it will get better.. it just takes time. Everyone feels alone and alienated, like no-one really understands them - everyone feels like they don't fit in at one point or another. the thing is, you aren't really you yet, life will change you and you'll find yourself over time, and when you do, you'll see where your place is, who you are and how you fit in. All the talk of people letting you down and "getting tired or bored" of you is just another way of saying "no-one understands me", and we've all been there. Just remeber there is no emotion or feeling that has never been felt by someone before and it WILL get better. i can't read my diaries anymore because of the cringing at the number of times i wanted to kill myself - now i can't even recall why (and i'm only in my early twenties). For now realise that you aren't alone, that you are changing - even on a day by day basis and that though no-one really talks about it, everyone will or has felt how you do now. You'll be fine, wether you believe me or not. Just let it all wash over you and eventually things will get better... Good luck and bear with it, because it hasn't even begun for you yet and its just about to get really fun




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