What can I do grieving, anxiety, possible depression?!


Question: What can I do grieving, anxiety, possible depression?
So im 15, and im crying like a fool cause one of the horses broke his leg and got put down, and hes not mine but if could've just as easily been my horse. most girls are at the barn are mean to me cause their all like 17+ and dont take me seriously.
my hero commited suicide and hes the reason i adore horses so i built my life around this and he ends up doing that.
I cant sleep at night cause i have no one to talk to about my issues so i sit up and cry , like me and my mom are pretty close but i feel bad burdening her with my issues with anxiety and grieving cause she has depression and i fear i might have it too- and i seen what it can do to you and i feel like my future is better 6ft under but then i think what would happen to my pets and mom and other who may actually care about me and i feel guilty for even thinking i want to end my life.
now the anxiety - i have ab basement room and im and in almost paralizing fear every night , and im terrifyed to turn my back to the door cause i think someone could be in the wood room waiting to hurt me and it sounds stupid- i know this but it scares me. i cant sleep till 2-3 am cause im too scared and every little sound makes me worried and i think the stress is making me have physical issues like im always cold and when i say always i mean ALWAYS i wake up under covers and you think id been out in snow all day.

what do i do- how can i tell my mom all this without sound like a dramatic 15 year old girl- im smart i know the difference between being emotional but this is too much. what can i say to assure her im not over anyalyzing this - i do want help but i've built my walls up so high i scared to let anyone into my deepest secrects- i dont like any teachers enough to trust them, and im worried if i see a doctor i'll be put on pills and i dont want to be that girl- im already that girl that paints on a smile and everyone thinks im okay but theres only so much i can carry before i collapse.
sorry this is so long- i dont even know
please no rude - oh your just going through puperty- comments. i want an honest - just tell me what to do kinda thing- it can be brutal i can handle it.

Answers:

My suggestion is for you to tell your mother you need to talk to her in an adult manner, not as a daughter/mother talk. You spoke in your question as an adult and you described your problems quite well, so I believe you can talk to your mother as well as you did to us.

I can understand how disturbing is must have been for you to have the horse put down. That's very sad and I'm sorry you had to be there when that happened. I also understand how it feels to have no one to talk to and for those who are older not to want to be friends with you and it's so depressing. I'm wondering if you can move out of the basement? I have a phobia about going into a basement, but that's just me. For you, it sounds like you would feel a lot safer in another room and it would help eliminate a lot of your anxiety.



Well I didnt read threw all of your question but I think you should go to church more and pray for God to help you with this :)



Call:
Pet Loss Support Hotline - Grief Counseling Hotline
Iowa State Univ. College of Veterinary Medicine
(U.S.A.) 1-888-ISU-PLSH (1-888-478-7574)

Read:
Coping with Sorrow on the Loss of Your Pet by Moira Anderson Allen, &
The Rainbow Bridge: Pet Loss Is Heaven's Gain by Niki Behrikis Shanahan, &
Paw Prints in the Stars: A Farewell and Journal for a Beloved Pet by Warren Hanson,
and the other best ones
View:
Losing Your Best Friend:Recovering from the Death of a Pet [VHS]
from your bookstore, retailer, or amazon.com

Check out the post about grief at http://your-mental-health.8m.com/blank_25.html Hypnosis is merely a heightened state of suggestibility, in which you are better able to communicate with your subconscious mind. 85% of people are suggestible, to some degree, so you could either preferably seek professional hypnotherapy. If unavailable, hypnosisdownloads.com has one about coping with the death of a pet.
Try: BOARDS, at http://www.mental-health-today.com/ptsd/index.html & Google: "pet loss; resources" like http://www.pet-loss.net/

A POEM FOR THE GRIEVING...
Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn's rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there, I did not die... -Anonymous.

Use the effective natural core treatments for depression at * http://your-mental-health.8m.com/blank_27.html and page B; (print for your mother) extensive teen resources are on page 2. If using a RECOMMENDED* brand of St. John's Wort, take with meals to avoid possible stomach upsets; check out the websites on St. John's Wort via page B, and if using UP TO 50mg of 5-htp daily in addition (or UP TO 200mg of 5-htp if NOT using the wort) take with a very low protein meal, to maximise the amount crossing the blood/brain barrier, with no, or extremely little protein 2 hrs before, to 2 hrs afterwards. Alternatively, take SAMe with the core treatments, but don't use anything else. View http://www.typeofdepression.org/Cause-Of-Depression.htm & http://curetogether.com/depression/ig/treatment-effectiveness-vs-popularity

They all have anxiolytic (anti-anxiety) effects as well as antidepressant ones, and anxiety is addressed on pages 1, & i at 8m.com. Passionflower (as directed, or 1 drop in a cup of warm water, 4 times daily; view http://altmedicine.about.com/od/anxiety/a/passionflower_benefits.htm?nl=1 ) may be helpful, short term. I'd avoid medications, except as a last resort, and even then, only use temporarily, as they don't address the causes, merely (imperfectly) treat the symptoms. Learn and employ the relaxation techniques (begin with Progressive Muscle Relaxation) and the EFT variant for use in public places, in case it is needed there. Try http://therapy247.com & http://www.feelbetternetwork.com (free counselling, but not in real time). Join, free, at http://www.womenspsychotherapy.com and post in the forum, and an experienced psychotherapist will respond.



You might need some grief counseling, u certainly have been through a lot for one ur age. can u sleep on a sofa or something till u start feeling better? Sometimes when we have had bad things happen we go thru a "situational " depression, that is a totally normal grief reaction. Lots of things can seem weird at that time. U may want to talk to a school nurse, they have heard this all before u r not unique, or a school counselor they have heard a lot worse, I m sure. It is UR choice about medication. If u dont want it no one can force it on you. Make sure to avoid caffeine, it can make u feel like ur losing it and it is everywhere, avoid coffee, energy drinks (liquid mind poison) and cola drinks. You will not collapse because u care enough to want to help urself and u have made a start by writing. Good luck and God bless.. Things will get better but some times we need a little help along the way, nothing to be ashamed off, its worse not to ask.. And build ur life not around something outside u , but internally, by seeking out things you enjoy, POSITIVE things and people. Avoid the mind poison on tv and in video games. only watch positive things and hang out w / positive people. Stay away from drama kings and queens... keep ur grades up, so that u can have a good life doing work u love and that pays well. When u live this way u become sooooo sensitive to negativity u spot it from a mile away and willl want to RUN away from it . You sound like a highly intelligent, caring and sensitive person.. take care. And if the girls at the barn are mean, maybe that is a sign that this is why u feel so badly and that you need to get the H*** out of there . U dont need this right now, in fact it could well be ur worst problem that makes u hurt so that its hard to deal with any stress. Save urself, get away,...... Get educated and make good money so u can afford ur own horse as an adult and pay for its upkeep with mature and good people around u, sounds like u stumbled into a clicque of B**********'s, dont be their victim, go find some nice happy friends...

school of life.



Best yet. You should get therapy, much more than horse therapy. (if that's what you do) Talk to someone. You can cry and talk all you want it'll help to get it all out.




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