staying home from school today because teacher is scaring me? (its long but im d!
Question: Staying home from school today because teacher is scaring me? (its long but im desperate for help)?
i have the biggest phobia of water. im terrified to stand in 4 feet of water without being by the edge. i cant switch out of the class anymore but basically...
here's what happened.
she had the whole class jump into seven feet of water. i was, obviously, terrified to do that and said "i beg you please don't make me do this. i beg you." i said "i beg you" at least fifty times. i literally almost cried and she pulls me toward the pool but i fight back. she's like "you're not leaving until you do this. i dont care if youre late to your next class."
suddenly the bell rang and it was time to go to the next class and it was just me and her left on the pool deck. first of all my next class was math, second of all, we're both verbally and physically arguing with each other.
then she told me that she'll bring her entire sixth hour in and they'll all watch me and "cheer me on" just to humiliate me.
she was grabbing me and pulling me and i was fighting her. she was verbally threatening me.
i, crazy as i am, really love this teacher and do not want her to be fired. although lately she's been givin me attitude.
That's where I was two weeks ago. The week after that, things were fine. This week, again, downhill. So basically, she is very rude to me every day and tells me mentally hurtful things. She calls my dad like once a week. My dad sounds like the nicest person on the phone with her but what she doesn't know is that my dad is an abusive liar. She basically doesn't know what's really going on and everytime I try to tell her something about my dad and try to get help she tells me I'm manipulating her.
Anyways, today, she told me "you're so afraid. even my two year old niece can freakin swim and you cant." and then she told me "this is not normal. my next step is to refer you to a specialist because this is not normal. something isn't right. something is wrong."
And then after school I went up to her to talk to her, and there's another teacher in her office too. (two gym teachers share one office) So I start talking to her and then they both look at each other and start laughing and I'M RIGHT THERE. So I just walked away crying.
I can't explain every detail just because I'm too tired. LOTS HAS HAPPENED more than i posted i just have no energy. OH AND ONE MORE THING
there's one more question ive been posting on YA and since i dont feel like re-typing it, I'll copy and paste it:
For the last two and a half years, I've been posting the same questions on Yahoo Answers. I've been experiencing almost every single of depersonalization and derelization disorder. The attacks have been coming multiple times every single time since then and they don't have an end! I'm feeling like now I'm at a point where I'm in a major depression and considering self-harm. I've already talked to my parents a few times over the course of two years. The last time I talked to them about it was back in November. They yell at me and tell me to shut up about it. What they don't know is that it happens to me every single day and I cannot live like this anymore.
This has really been controlling my life too long. I have a trusted adult in my life; my swimming teacher. She's one of the best people to talk to. She's so positive and helpful - the entire school knows her for the person who is best to talk to! Her and I really get along well. My fear is her calling my parents because they will get beyond angry. I mean, I can't even picture what they'd do. I also don't trust my current school counselor, so I don't want her to know either.
Is it weird for me to do this? I mean, I hate bothering people - especially when I haven't been diagnosed and my parents won't take me to a doctor. But this is getting to a point where I might need to bother a few people or it's self-harm.
Anyways, I have a D in swimming because I'm terrified and get these attacks all the time. That's partly why I want to tell her. The only reason my D isn't an E is because we had open gym a few times! But we start swimming again on Monday. This is killing my GPA. You know you're terrible a swimming if you're swimming grade is lower than your math grade! The D looks really ugly on my progress report. :/
Also, I want to add that I've talked to her about my grade before (not about the panic attacks) and she has told me that's it up to me to change my grade; that I have to try. I told her that I am trying but that at the same tie, I am terrified of the water. She told me to tell myself I'm not afraid and just jump in. I said, "you can't just tell yourself that!"
If you can't talk to your swimming coach or your parents about your fears, and your thoughts of harming yourself, it is time that you talk to the school nurse and tell her everything that you have written here.
I have one fear in life and that is water that is over my head. I am an avid boater and go in the ocean when storms are approaching without fear, but if I am in the water, I will sink like a rock from panic. You should not have to go in 7 feet of water if you are afraid, so ask your school nurse if she could refer you to a good doctor who could help you with your mental state, and I am sure the doctor will have you excused from swimming class, which would be the best thing for you at this time.
Good luck and God Bless you!
Listen here,you dont have to cause yourself harm and agin no harm should come to others around you. I realize you are terrified of the water,and you should tell your P.E./gym teacher. Its most likely she would understand! :) And if your parents are abusive, dont keep it to yourself,if you EVER fell uncomfortable in a situation like this, talk to a friend,it ALWAYS helps. Dont let anyone abuse you,even if it is your parents. I have this friend who sorta had the same problem and her parents abused her.She told me about it and I got it all sorted out for her. I told her to not worry no more and to always come to me (becuase that is what best friends do right? :D ) Also, im also known as my year grade psychologist becuase I always sort out peoples problems! :D (if you need someone to talk to and you dont trust many people in school,talk to me on my Y-A page :D (I'm in high school,so I know what its all about :P )
Okay wow. She can't make you do anything like that, NOR putting her hands on you. All she could have said was, "Are you going to do it?" And you'd say no. And she could have said easily, "Okay fine F."
Like seriously, I would tell your dad or your principal. If you don't want to be stuck with this rude and immature teacher for the rest of the year then I'd tell someone sweetie.