I'm Getting More and More Worried About My Friend?!
Question: I'm Getting More and More Worried About My Friend?
She cannot be single, she always has to be in a relationship, even if she knows right from the very beginning it's going to be full of drama and not last. I think she is trying to find 'The One' since I've been with my husband for almost four years now, happily married 2 years and she always says how lucky I am and how she wants to find someone too. Her most recent relationship has only been four weeks and they're already talking about promise rings and moving in together and how in love they are, it's always a bit weird to me! She does this with every guy she gets with! Then she gets super depressed in the end (a couple months into the relationship) and really paranoid with anxiety and breaks up, only to do it all over again!
I lost a lot of weight a few years back (gained it back but trying to lose it again) and she's obsessed with losing weight, she keeps asking me what was my lowest weight and my lowest size I wore because I'm her inspiration and she wants to be as tiny as I was if not tinier. (she asks this a lot! And I find it inappropriate and insensitive at times because I gained the weight back, maybe it's just my insecurity there but she is OBSESSED!) She constantly talks about diets, she is is ALWAYS on a diet, constantly runs and works out, even if her feet bleed from it, she updates on FB constantly (a couple times a day sometimes) if she lost even a tenth of a pound! It's getting extreme! She even blogs about taking diet pills with coffee in the morning! She constantly brags about how her boyfriend and everyone keeps saying how much she's shrinking, it's not just happiness, like I said, the only way I can put it is irrational behavior. And I'm not jealous, I'm very happy for her, just also very worried!
She says she has loads of anxiety and the dr put her on zanex and she went to a friend's house and drank alcohol on it and blacked out and woke up in his bro's bed and THINKS something happened but won't ask or go to the dr! She put herself in this situation even though she's in a relationship as well! Does she just want attention? She seemed to enjoy how much her new boyfriend flipped over it and actually got jealous of her being around other guys!
She is distancing herself and talking loads of crap on her sister because her sister got loads of money from a law suit as well, she has admitted she's jealous and hurt which is fine but she's taking it to the extreme IMO.
She's cut herself in the past from stress, I don't know what to do about her and I'm worried she's developing an eating disorder and worried about her risky behavior with guys. What do I do? Thanks!
Answers:
It does very much sound like Borderline Personality Disorder, especially everything she's done and how she seemed to "enjoy" her boyfriend's reaction.
People with borderling personality disorder can have very volatile relationships. The best way I can describe this without being too wordy is if I tell you the name of a book I have about BPD. It's called, "I Hate You, Don't Leave Me." When I say volatile relationships, that's what I mean, not that she is beating up the boyfriend or whatnot.
Ask her to go to a doctor and see if you can go with to explain the situation to him. It is very doubtful that she is going to let you take her to the dr, though. So you can distance yourself from her until she realizes what she's done or let that be the end.
Cluster B personality disorder. Look it up.
I'm not surprised you're concerned. It sounds as though she has Borderline Personality Disorder and it's very hard to "treat" because the person with it either doesn't acknowledge they have anything wrong with them, is happy to stay the way they are, or have given up trying to fight it.