How to get out of guilt and be normal?!


Question: How to get out of guilt and be normal?
I am 15 years old. I have some recent problems in my life? Now I feel like a lunatic, like I got paranoia or shizophrenia. I have bad friends, no true friends. They are acting crazy and stupid in school. After spending the times with them I have realized that I am starting to be a lunatic. I think they stupify me. I have bad grades, I starting to feel like I am eccentric person but infact I act normally unlike other people. Which draws me to another conclusion that most of other people are crazy and I am the among the most normal. I was a fool when I was younger but I was not a full fool, I was conscious and knew what I did. Last years I feel like a invalid, like I got memory lack, I can't finish something, I feeled stupid, I lost creativity. I think that I am crazy inside, but normal outside. But the stupid thing is that no one recognizes me to be crazy, except they say I am a retard which is false and misconcepted belief among friends. My guilt is irrational and I think it destroys my personality and self-esteem. I feel neglected. The friends I visit in school are bastards, they just laugh, make nonesense, stupify themselves, humiliate others and make my day worser. I feel against myself, like I want to banish myself I see often others and think that I am the worst. I did sexual things which make me guilty, I sucked my penis male organ, I have a asymmetrical penis maybe from masturbation, I got asymmetrical testicles which is weird, I have pubic hair loss which is disguisting, I feel like I ruined my body, I feel like ill, but there are others who are ill, I have problems with my mentality, it's because of the idiotic society in which I live, school friends actually. I try to think positive in order to be normal, but I can't I only think of deaths, tragedies and failure. I seem I cannot accept myself, I cannot accept myself that I am discriminated and beaten (mentally) from the idiots. I feel mindless. But I can't even accept worse. There is worse, there are people who cutted their penis male organ, there are homosexuals who suck others male organ, there are castrated males, there are people that are chronically insane. I have some visual pictures about something that makes me distracted, I hear songs. Among society, I am sometimes anxious, I am anxious, neurotic. I feel in a society as the most low level valued person, I respect others but no one has something human in themselfs. Among the society the most honest person. How can I get out of this irrational, stupifying, crazy, self-destructing mentality and be like others. And not to be bothered with the "demons" in my head. How can I be normal inside and to be normal do I have to get out of a crazy society? And I need to banish my stupid guilt.

Answers:

I've got a few thoughts for you to consider:

Every person has struggles in life, including being exposed to people who choose to engage in harmful activities, and people who participate in beneficial activities. The key is recognizing that we want to improve for our betterment, which seems like what you desire, and are trying to do. You are to be applauded for that.

The next step in our growth is recognizing what help sources are available to us accomplish the improvements we desire. Since you are 15, you have to get your parents or guardian(s) to get you to a doctor to evaluate your medical condition. There are many disorders that cause us to have anxiety, depression, and other mental struggles. The physician will give you a full blood workup and check you for glandular disorders, sugar disorders, etc making sure you are not dealing with a medical disorder. If the physician feels you are healthy, then they will recommend you see a psychiatrist, who deals with brain chemistry imbalances. Stress , confusiion, depression, etc can be treated quite effectively with medicines and therapy so the person feels like a new person. It's just a matter of finding a medicine mix that fits each person.

I would try with all my might to think as positively about yourself as you can. Make sure you are getting enough sleep every day. Cardio exercise helps a lot to relieve stress, and getting fresh air every day will help clear out the mind. Diet is also critical to your recovery. Try to eat as healthy as you can, including all the food groups to help your body clean out, and get enough nutrients to keep your body and mind healthy.

Another option is, if your parents aren't willing to start this process, then I would go to or call the nearest mental clinic (check the yellow pages), and tell them what you feel you need. They may be able to explain to your parents what would be the most helpful to get you on your road to recovery.

I wish you all the best in life. Finding help when a person needs it is essential to recovery. Don't give up! Just keep looking for the help you seek. Sometimes, it can take quite a bit of work, but you will find help if you don't give up. Please take care of yourself!




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