wow this is a big problem ''/?!
Question: Wow this is a big problem ''/?
Ok- Im bullied alot, Im only Fourteen i'm miserable even at home, even though i have.. good parents.
I think i may have anxiety and depression, i went to a doctor a few days ago and she said 'wait for about a week or two and if you don't feel any better come back and we can talk' because my parents were worried and saying im not myself.
so i said 'ok'
I self harmed, my parents know and it crushed them, so i decided to stop cutting. and when ever i get the urge i bite my arm.
bite my nails, pull strand of my hair out, smash my head off things, hit my wrists repeatedly with things (which i had to go to hospital for... no one knows i did it on purpose) and even cry in frustration.
Im just so scared, i feel alone that's whats scaring me, even when i know people are going through the same thing as me.
I just want to be normal:( i want to have friends, i want people to walk past and smile at me instead of making horrible comments or scoffing, i want to receive emails asking me to go out somewhere instead of ones telling me to kill myself because no one cares and that im a freak or there going to get me at school and my mom mentioned i don't leave the house to the doctor she said 'and she doesn't leave the house, she goes to school and comes back.'
I hate p.e because people scream at me when i do it 'wrong' or hit me with stuff.
I cant even do most of the p.e lessons because of a condition i have.
I can never sleep, i have constant stress headaches, bad stomachs and just feel like giving up before my life has even started.
I try to get as much time off school as i can, but i do have to go back on monday, even though i haven't been in two days.
I want to die... I really cant talk to anyone i really cant :(
I get emails everyday, im bullied everyday, i go home and panic because i have to go back the next day... and no one knows i have nightmares which is why i try to stay up and last night i dreamt i was getting beat up and called names 'i remember it clearly.'
I had a best friend for about 8 years, i could talk to about everything, we did everything together then one day her parents said she wasn't aloud to be my friend anymore.
She wouldn't tell me why, then she laughed at me every time she passed, texted me, inboxed me horrible things, she called me weird.
I have no one... and just want to commit suicide because maybe the bullies are right? no one cares.
(Every single piece of this is true)
Answers:
Hello again miss!
Im sorry you are feeling suicidal and feel like noone cares. It must be terrifiying to feel so isolated with these feeling of despair.
You are doing good to follow the doctors advice. She said a week, so go back next week and why not print out this page and show her what you wrote. Even if you are feeling ok then, you can say this is how you feel when you are at your lowest. I think you have described very well, the overwhelming amount of emotional pain you are in.
In the meantime. have a look at the websites i mentioned in reply to your question about being made fun of.
Cybermentors.org.uk,
Samaritans.org.
Childline.org.uk
THey are all there to help you. Its all confidential and you will find people you can chat with on the phone, or in supportive chatrooms there. You can also copy and paste what you wrote here and email it to the samaritans (the email address is on their website) they will respond to you within 24 hours.
Keep taking care of you : )
DAIsy : )
You are figuring out early that the kids you go to school with can be mean. Ignore them. I know it is hard but their opinions mean nothing. Go back to the doctor. I suggest even printing out this question and bringing it with you. You can feel better. Share with your parents if you can. It sounds like they are very concerned about you. There are many things that can be done to help.
Its Okay. This happens to everyone. Through adolescence things happen, you become a woman or a man. You just have to talk it out with any adult and things will eventually even out.