what approach would a teacher take if they suspect a student is self harming?!


Question: What approach would a teacher take if they suspect a student is self harming?
im not looking for attention before you make assumptions im just asking a question.

I self harm and i have been upset in class lately and kinda down for personal reasons, my teacher asked me if i was ok numerous amount of times. I was at an Art exam and wasn't wearing any bracelets to cover my cuts and had my selves up . i was sitting on my own and didn't think my friends would notice, but my teacher came over, gave me a funny look and asked if i was ok ..
This same teacher reported me to my year head a few weeks ago saying she was concerned something was wrong which at this point there wasnt any visible signs ect and things were ok.
Anyway my question is, If she did notice these cuts, would she imedietly say what are they or leave it a few days ect. Im 17 and in lower sixth. if the case is she noticed would she contact my parents , when iwas 14 the school told my parents after i told a councellor, my mums got alot to deal with at home and she doesn't need this.. i know im being selfish..
also if i told my oteacher who i am very close too and trust alot or needed to tell her at some point. would she have to tell my parents because im 17 , i am in the UK.

Answers:

Hi Clare

No assumptions here ; )

Clearly you must be going though a really difficult time, and i dont think you are being selfish at all. Looking after yourself and seeking support is the right thing to do! Go you! : )

Your question is a difficult one to answer because, as im sure you know, people react in all sorts of unpredictable ways to self harm.Some people think self harm is attempted suicide, and so they panic and tell the wrong people. Others, as you said, think it is attention seeking and treat people who self harm with disgust.

Clare, i think what is important is to find people who understand self harm and who can help you find healthier ways of coping with your distress and what must be a great deal of emotional pain. You must feel very isolated.
I think you are very brave to be taking control of your future by seeking out support for yourself. It is your life and you truely deserve to be happy. You must be going through an awful lot of emotional pain if the physical pain of cutting yourself helps you to cope. You are on the brink of leaving school and moving on to an exciting phase of your life where anything is possible. So now is the time to sort this out : )

I will share with you this next paragraph which i like to share with people like yourself, just incase you didnt know there are websites like this out there...

Have a look at cybermentors.org.uk You can sign up for free and then chat to trained mentors your own age in a chatroom, about the stuff going on at school and self harm. Then, if you would like, you can ask for a qualified adult counsellor to message you. You can have a private chat (in a private chatroom) with them about your feelings and self harm. Its all free, confidential and is set up for people age 11- 18. There are also other people like yourself on there who you can have a laugh and become friends with : )
They might know what would happen if you told your teachers with regards to school regulations. The counsellors are really sweet and funny and will support you 100%.

There is also Samaritans and Childline. They are around 24/7. They have really lovely counsellors who can be on team Clare and help you talk through these feelings. Its all confidential and you dont have to tell your parents if you dont want to. Oh, and you dont have to be suicidal to call or email them. You could just start by saying "im having a difficult time...."

The other thing to remember is the internet is great for finding things to distract you when you feel low. Look up rude words in different languages. Learn to finger spell the deaf alphabet, look at animal rescue websites with animals that need adopting, look at webcams on the other side of the earth....you get the point... things to give your precious mind a break : )

Hope this helps a little.
Take care of you!

DAiSY : )




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