The things I said when I was drunk, what does it mean?!


Question: The things I said when I was drunk, what does it mean?
I am 17 years old and now i am an exchange student away from my home. Fo some reason, i have been quite sad the past few months. I even cut myself (not too deeply) on the wrist a few months ago, i do not know what has gotten into me. The other weekend i went to a party, and got 'black-out', vomiting drunk. I find, for some horrible reason, that i turn to alcohol whenever there is some. When i was drunk, i cried an unbelievable amount and spoke about suicide, the entire night. I kept repeating the words "give me pills, give me a knife, or a gun so i can kill myself" but most importantly i kept saying "I want to die". Sometimes, it is difficult to explain myself in a language i have only just learned (spanish) but the people there understood. Luckily, i was with amazing friends who helped me the whole night. However, i am very frightned about what i have said. Since, i left my home, i have been quite sad. Yet, now i do not want to return home for some reason. I am not sure what it is, but i am really sad and think i may have depression.. However, I cannot even believe what i said that night, and i am still frightened by it, i would never-ever even contemplate suicide.
Please tell me what this means. Was what i said true feelings? should i seek counseling? I'm scared. Thankyou so much in advance for those of you who answer. really, thankyou.

Answers:

I know how you feel. You are afraid of change. You probably didn't want to move in the first place I'm guessing. There are some techniques to get over this. Think positively every day (yeah it's cliche but if you can manage to do it it helps), think about the positives in your life. Start a hobby, I started doing the rubik's cube, joined a fraternity, reading books(I never did normally), exercise, do something to get out of what you do NORMALLY every day. Try different foods, learn to cook, basically you feel that you have little meaning in your life so you need to do things that you feel can better you. The reason you are nervous to try them is because you are scared of change.
Here's a site for hobbies: http://www.stormthecastle.com/the-list-of-hobbies.htm
Please get better cuz I know how hard it is to be depressed.
If this doesn't work see a psychiatrist, you might think you are weak for doing it but my psychiatrist (I still see him every month just to talk even though I am feeling fine), has helped me and bettered me in ways you cannot imagine



tero bau




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