So depressed about work I'm close to tears?!

Question: So depressed about work I'm close to tears?

I don't know what to do. My situation is quite complex: I relocated with my husband and baby and started my new job in January, shortly after the death of my mother in law. So we've had quite an upheaval. I work as a teacher, have done for almost 8 years, and I hate it. My new school isn't what I thought it would be and I don't like my new colleagues, my head of department is moody and highly strung. Our main reason for relocating was so that my mum could childmind for us. Since we've moved, I haven't lived here for 12 years, I've found out what a heavy drinker my mum is. She drinks every night to the point where she can barely stand and wets herself on the sofa. I've had a word about the drinking and she's promised to stop. She hasn't had a drink now for about 5 days but I don't know how long this will last. I'm so exhausted from work and from worrying about my daughter's safety that I'm constantly ill. In a school you pick up bugs and viruses every couple of weeks anyway but usually I can fight them off. However, I had flu a few weeks ago which left me feeling drained. I went back to work earlier than I should have because I was so worried about having time off. This then resulted in a secondary stomach infection, so more time off, and again I went back too soon. Now I have bronchitis. Because this has been 3 separate absences I'm going to get pulled in for a meeting. I'm dreading this. I hate the job and want to quit but can't because of finances. Also in this current climate I'm lucky to have a job. I just honestly don't know what to do for the best. I'm not doing right by my daughter, I'm not doing right by my job and I'm not doing right by myself where my health is concerned.

Answers:

My sympathies - I share your love of sickness reviews.

From what you seem to have a number of seperate issues here.

First, your sickness record. Most people do the same - you try to get back to work after an illness and end up taking longer off as you're not ready to return. In hindsight, the best thing to do would be to take a fortnight off in the first place and live with the guilty "I'm well enough to work." feeling. Sickness reviews are usually a paper exercise to keep administrators in jobs, but should be as much about how the school can help you stay healthy as the time you've missed. You may have the right to bring a union rep or a senior member of staff with you for support, and if you're anxious this might be a good tactic.

Secondly, your Mum. She's told you she's not drinking at present, but you're afraid she might relapse. She's done well to go without drink for 5 days. If she's finding it difficult, her GP can offer medication to help with the cravings and direct her to local support groups (I know AA aren't everybody's thing, but there may be other local services which offer aromatherapy, acupuncture and so on).

Lastly, your career. I know there's less and less actual teaching involved in the job now, but do you still enjoy it? If you do, look for another teaching job. If not, is it possible to re-train for something whilst you're still working? Perhaps you do a conversion course to a psychology
degree and look into education psychology, for example. Agency staff are well paid - could you do some agency work whilst you go back to uni to do something completely different?

Most importantly, look after yourself. Try to eat healthily, get a reasonable amount of sleep and try to factor in some 'me' time, even if it's just a bath with some bubbles, a book and a bar of chocolate. You've got the Easter holidays in a couple of weeks. I know teachers' holidays aren't as good as they seem, but if you possibly can get away for a few days to re-charge your batteries?

The very best of luck to you.

is getting a baby sitter / day care out of the question ? .. as for getting pulled for a meeting to discuss your absences, don't you have Doctor proof that you are as sick as you say ??

I totally get it im in the same dilemma. And feel like im stuck.

You can't not work, but no one said you have to continue being a teacher. Have you thought about getting a job at a daycare? They want certified teachers! And your daughter can attend for free- so that's taken care of.

What about a montessori/private preschool? What about a tutoring program or teaching SAT prep courses? Have you thought about moving into administration instead of staying in the classroom?
But if you hate your job that much, start applying to other schools for next year. But continue to put your all into the students you have now.

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So depressed about work I'm close to tears?!

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