How to be assertive when I know I have a right to something?!
Question: How to be assertive when I know I have a right to something?
There have been times when I felt assertive, and stood up for myself with confidence, and I knew that what I was saying was going to work, and it did. I'm not sure how I got into that state of mind, or how to get back into it. But I'm really being mistreated right now, and I need to stand up for myself. How do I get back into that confident, assertive state of mind?
Answers:
Right now there is a little part of you that is buying in to the abuse you are getting, and it causes you to lose the confidence to stand up for yourself. I am very proud of you for standing up in the past. I want you to think about this: (1) you are capable of being assertive and have done so, (2) you've proven that being very assertive has had a positive affect in changing someone's negative behavior to you, (3) you are a worthwhile person who should only be around people who bring you up--not down. Number (3) is very important because there is no place in your life for negative people who get some satisfaction out of discounting you. Continue to believe in yourself and realize that people truly will treat you the way you let them. Therefore, once you lay the law down with people who cut you down, if they continue to do so, drop them. You must have something click inside you that makes you realize that only you navigate your life--nobody else. Don't ever be a victim and give people power over you. You are a great person who deserves positive people around you. You and I both know the difference between family and friends who give us positive and honest feedback to those who are deliberately cruel. Drop those kind of people if they don't change. I want people to be honest with me, but not cruel, and I certainly don't want someone to feel important by cutting me down. You don't want those folks around you either. Catch those kind of people in their game and give them an ultimatum to cease and desist or you are ending your relationship with them.
You were probably in some kind of adrenaline rush when you stood up for yourself. You knew you were right and they were wrong, so you had to do something. Plus you have some kind of built up anger or frustration, most likely, so you blew up a little, but for a good reason. Just realize that when you're right, you're right, and find a way to say it so they can't argue back.
Channel the anger from the situation and use that to power your assertiveness. Think about how they're mistreating you, and what it feels like, and why they think they have the right to do that to you.
Hahaha. You almost answerd your own question. Remember that when you are facing them. Be assertive, not an idiot, but assertive. Remember he is just a human as well as you, and you dont need to take this bull sh*t from Anyone!!!!!