Easiest way to fix anti socialness?!


Question: Easiest way to fix anti socialness?
I use to be soooo sooo social having a mom who was quite literally a new jersey housewife she took me everywhere but after my parents got divorced and i live with my dad i became addicted to video games. I like to feel important that's just me and on video games I'm always become well known on the servers i play on being big on player vs player things i always end up leading the side im on, ever since i was 14 ive done this and my judgement was always better than people over 20 years old but I'm getting tired of it.

I think in real life though the amount of control on people around me will slip away from me but I love that feeling, should I love it? How do I change myself I want to be social but do what I love to do. I haven't done anything social in over 2 years, it's just been school (which is very boring to me and only got a few friends who live miles away from me) and occassional shopping.

I don't like sports, I don't relate to many people but when I'm with other family and they talk to me and they have all these stories, do you think they are interested in hearing how I outsmarted a 35 year old on a game and brought my competetion which was another group of player vs player lovers (another guild) to join me after months of putting effort into it and strategizing? No for some reason not and I think it's kind of cool but people just don't seem to think so!

I've become anti social and I want to fix it, but it's hard to go through such a big change, any tips? The only thing outside of games I love to do is interact with animals :/

Answers:

What I suggest is finding activities apart from school and gaming that are both genuinely interesting to you and that will serve as good discussion topics. If you love animals, try volunteering at animal shelters, farms, or work at a pet store.

One thing that's very important to deeper discussions, when you get beyond the small talk (where you live and work, what your likes/disinterests/favorites are, etc.), are passions, life goals and possibly your faith. I recommend taking the time to identify and develop these as you build up interesting experiences in your other activities.

If you have close friends now, ask them to help introduce you to others. If you think there might be problems in the way you interact with others, it would be a good idea to ask your friends for feedback on anything you might be doing to alienate or upset the people they introduce you to.

If at some point you are interested in developing a deeper and/or romantic relationship, I highly recommend posts on charismatips.com from the 2000's. I have managed to put some of his advice into practice. It has helped me develop deeper connections more quickly with others.

If there is one thing you should know above all others when making friends, it's to avoid engaging in any sort of approval-seeking behavior (or anything that looks like it). With the exception of genuinely wanting feedback on your interactions, engaging in that sort of behavior is the quickest way to get people to think that you're a loser who lacks confidence - even if it's not true!

Good luck!




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